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Fatwa CenterHis wife took divorce in American courts
Question
I want to know I am married to a American lady if she left me and took kids to America for close two years. I did bad things to her because of being sad and her being disobeying. She is a good wife and good Muslimah but talked back and did not listen to me. She was good to my mother and sisters and learned cook and clean good. She worked job with men in hospital and I was jealous and angry with her. She disobeying me by working but never I said divorce. She went to America with my children and divorced me in American courts. Even though she was a disobeying wife, she was good and I love her now. How will I be if I take her back or if I help her become a good Muslim praying and be nicer? Will we be married now or divorced? With her a good Muslimah, is it permission for her to keep my children with her as they are of a young age? Should I marry again as my family wants me to or work on relations with her? How do I be a good Muslim with all of these bad things?
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
If the reality is as you mentioned in the question that you neither divorced your wife nor did a Mulsim judge issue the ruling of divorce because of your mistreatment to her, then she is still considered your wife. Therefore, your wife should fear Allaah and repent to Him since she has committed many sins; some are more drastic than others. Here are some of the most severe sins:
1) Taking the case to non-Islamic courts for legislation is forbidden. Allaah Says (what means): {Have you not seen those who claim to have believed in what was revealed to you, [O Muhammad ], and what was revealed before you? They wish to refer legislation to taghut, while they were commanded to reject it; and Satan wishes to lead them far astray.}[Quran 4:60]
If you were negligent and offensive to your wife while she could not bear you any longer, then she could sue you in an Islamic court or report to the Muslim community (Islamic centers), in order to solve the problem Islamically. However, she should not have taken the matter to non-Islamic courts.
2) Working in a mixed environment and without her husband's permission. A wife is not allowed to go out of her home without her husband's permission. Working in a mixed environment makes things even worse. For more benefit on the prohibition of mixing, please refer to Fataawa 84281 and 87469, and to Fatwa 88099about the conditions which a woman should fulfill when going out.
3) Taking her children and traveling to a non-Muslim country. Even if there is separation between a wife and her husband and she has the right of the custody of the children, she loses this right when she travels to live in another far country. In this case, the father has more right in fostering the children according to the opinion of the majority of the scholars 
.
Also, if the father is in a Muslim country while his wife is traveling to a non-Muslim country, then there are many disadvantages on the children. This is another reason that deprives her from the right of custody, since this right is not granted to the one who cannot protect them and their religion. Indeed, the bad environment of those non-Muslim countries adversely affects the faith and the religion of the children.
Finally, we advise you to the two following matters:
A) Try to contact your wife, remind her of Allaah and inform her that every Muslim must refer to Islamic rulings in all his matters, and that the courts ruled by man-made laws will not be of any help to her when she stands in front of Allaah.
On the other hand, if you have misbehaved towards her or neglected her rights, then you have to apologize to her and assure her that you will not repeat such behavior. This is if you want to continue the marital life with her, which is advisable for the sake of the children and to help this Muslim woman follow her religion.
B) If you want to marry another wife, then you may do so but you should be careful this time in choosing your wife. The criterion should be the religious commitment of the woman you choose as per the saying of the Prophet : "Choose the religious one, you will prosper." [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
Allaah Knows best.
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