I met a recent convert to Islam and he was discussing religious matters and when I told him that once I once heard a Sunnah which in summary says that our Prophet Muhammad once said that "only if you love me more than yourself and your family will you enter paradise". He said he doesn't believe it and doesn't understand why we Muslims praise our Prophet even in prayer while we don't praise the other prophets too or don't praise anyone at all. If the Quran says everyone is equal and no prophet is greater than any other prophet, he thinks that praising the Prophet is only man-made practice, i.e., it is not mentioned in the Quran to praise the Prophet in prayers. Can you please, help me explain to my friend what the Sunnah I mentioned above means and if it is really Saheeh?

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.

Al-Bukhari narrated from 'Abdullaah ibn Hishaam

"We were with the Prophet and he was holding the hand of 'Umar ibn Al-Khattaab. 'Umar said to him, 'O Allaah's Messenger! You are dearer to me than everything except my own self.' The Prophet said: “No, by Him in Whose Hand my soul is, (you will not have complete faith) till I am dearer to you than your own self.” Then 'Umar said to him, 'However, now by Allaah, you are dearer to me than my own self.' The Prophet said: “Now, O Umar, (now you are a believer.)"

Al-Bukhari and Muslim also narrated from Anas ibn Maalik that the Prophet said: “No person will be a good believer unless I become dearer to him than his family, his wealth and all the people."

The scholars explained the two aforementioned narrations by the following: Imaam al-Khattaabi said, 'The love mentioned here is not natural love, it is the love related to choice. In fact, the love of the person for his own self cannot be compared to any other love. So, the meaning here is your love for the Prophet will not be true unless you become ready to sacrifice your own life in obedience to the Prophet and you prefer pleasing him to fulfilling your desires even if that will result in your death.' [An-Nawawi]

Ibn Battaal and Al-Qaadhi Iyaadh divided the love into three categories:

1-      Respect and esteem: This is like the love of the child for his father.

2-      Compassion and pity: like the love of the father for his child.

3-      Kindness and admiration: This is the love that a person has towards all other people.

Thus, the Muslim has to have all these types of love toward Prophet Muhammad . Ibn Battaal said, "The meaning of this Hadeeth is that the right of the Prophet Muhammad on us is greater than the rights of our parents, our children and all other people. Indeed, it is through the efforts of this beloved Prophet that we are turned from Hell-Fire and guided to the right path."

Al-Qaadhi Iyaadh added, "And the love of the Prophet includes backing his Sunnah, supporting it and fighting for his Sharee'ah and wishing to have lived with him and to have sacrificed one's life and one's wealth to back him. Now if this is the case, then belief does not become complete without raising high the status of Prophet Muhammad   in one's own mind and favoring him to any other person – be it a child, parent, righteous person or beloved one. Anyone who does not believe in this and believes its opposite is not a true believer.'

As for invoking blessings on the Prophet in prayer, this is not limited to him only. In fact, it includes invoking blessing on all the prophets from Prophet Ibraaheem to Prophet Muhammad . So, when the person says in his prayer: "O Allaah, bless Muhammad and the family of Muhammad" is for him and all his Ummah (Muslim nation) and when he says: "as You blessed Ibraaheem and the family of Ibraaheem" this includes praising Ibraaheem and all the Prophets and believers who came after him.

Ibn Hajar said while explaining this Hadeeth that the family of Prophet Ibraaheem is in general more honored than the family of Prophet Muhammad because the former (the family of Ibraaheem ) includes prophets whereas the latter (family of Muhammad ) does not includes any prophet.

Allaah Knows best.