Her husband is homosexual

3-8-2010 | IslamWeb

Question:

my husband is gay and i have a 3 years old daughter. I am totally dependent on my husband for living. I live in Canada and do not know what to do. He goes to gay clubs every week. I asked a lawyer about the legality of my divorce and she mentioned most probably he can take my daughter from me because I can't provide her with a decent living. I must also admit that my husband is not a bad person. he went to hajj last year to overcome his homosexuality but he said he couldn't and asked me to live with it. He also went to a psychitic here but he told him that there is no cure for such disease. he prays all the time do zakah but our relationship is getting worse and worse becasue i know all his story. And i know he is cheating on me with other men At one hand i feel pitty towards him becasue he was not raise in a decent family. he has a very rude mother and his big brother molisted him for long time. on the other hand i am afraid of Allah's curse on me and my daughter. Please let me know what to do.. should i ask for a divorce and risk my child OR remain silent on this huge sin? Should i tell his family?? IS there a cure for such a disease??

Answer:

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

If you are sure that your husband is homosexual, then you should advise him and remind him of Allaah and of His severe Punishment in this life and in the Hereafter for whoever commits this act; look how Allaah punished the people of Loot (Lut)  may  Allaah  exalt  his  mention because of this abominable act.

As regards the treatment of this, then it is easy for whoever Allaah made it easy for him. If your husband really wants to get rid of this bad habit, then he has to be sincere with Allaah, and he should be really determined to refrain from it, as Allaah does not forsake whoever is sincere with Him; Allaah Says (what means): {As for he who gives and fears Allaah. And believes in the best [reward]. We will ease him toward ease.}[Quran 92:5-7] Besides, the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said about one of his companions: “He was true to Allaah, so Allaah was true to him [i.e. fulfilled his needs].” [Abdur-Razaaq]

Moreover, he should earnestly supplicate to Allaah as much as possible; Allaah Says (what means): {And when My servants ask you, [O Muhammad], concerning Me-indeed I am near. I respond to the invocation of the supplicant when he calls upon Me.}[Quran 2:186]

In addition to this, he should avoid the bad environment that helps him to commit this sin, and he should be keen on keeping company with righteous people. It is reported in a Hadeeth that a person killed 99 persons and he wanted to repent, so a scholar told him: “Go to such and such land as there are people who worship Allaah there, so worship Allaah with them, and do not go back to your land, as it is an evil land.” [Muslim] For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 90562 and 88137.

It should be mentioned here that residing in a non-Muslim country could be a means of much temptation, so if you are able to migrate to a Muslim country, then you should do so, as this will help your husband to repent. For more benefit on the ruling of migration from a non-Muslim country, please refer to Fatwa 86405.

Then, if this man repents and becomes righteous, praise be to Allaah, but if he persists on his situation, then you have the right to ask for divorce, and if you wish, you may be patient with him and endeavor to rectify him. If you advise him, then you would have done what is required from you. We hope that you and your daughter will not be cursed because of his act, as no bearer of burdens will bear the burden of another. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 117370.

If we presume that divorce takes place, then you have the legal right to foster this daughter, and if you remarry, the fostering will be transferred to the female who has more right in fostering her after you, like your mother. As regards her father [your husband], he has no right to foster her as long as he is on this situation due to his dissoluteness. For more benefit, refer to Fatwa 90461.

Moreover, he is obligated to spend on her whether he is the one who fosters her or it is you who fosters her; this is the religious ruling and the law should not be taken into account if it contradicts the Sharee’ah.

Allaah Knows best.

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