I have been dating my boyfriend who is a non-Muslim Catholic for 4 months. The age gap between us is rather large, I am 18 and he 29. My parents are currently unaware of the relation. We have had sexual relations before but never penetrative sex. Recently I lost my virginity to him. I am filled with regret, remorse and disgust with myself because of what I allowed myself and him to do and would like to seek guidance.
Firstly, I would like to know how do I go about repenting for my evil sin, can I even repent or will my prayers not be answered?
Secondly, now that we have committed this act we now intend on getting married, are we allowed to do so? And if so, how does one go about marrying a Catholic. He would have to convert first right? But during this period may we be engaged, or must he first convert and then can he only ask for permission to marry me?
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.
In fact, you committed a great major sin. If Islam does not allow touching a marriageable man, being alone with him, etc, how would the case be if it reaches an illegal sexual intercourse.
First of all you have to sincerely repent and must cut off all relations with your lover. See our Fataawa 88307 and 86631.
Know that sincere repentance wipes off all your sins as we mentioned in our Fatwa 90473.
You are not allowed to have any relations with this man. If he truly embraces Islam and follows its teachings then he may contact your guardian to marry you off to him as we mentioned in our Fataawa 88576 and 88554.
Allaah Knows best.
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