Married without the permission of her father and wants to correct her mistake
Fatwa No: 131059

Question

I was 14 years old when I fell in love with a boy who did not know where and from what family back ground I belonged. He directly proposed me and asked me to marry him from the very first day. I told my mother about it (who was a cancer paitent at that time). Gradually, my father got to know about it and my family turned against him because he did not belong from a rich family back ground and I am from a rich back ground and they thought he is not a good person and I am too young to get married (I wanted an engagement at that time). My mother talked to him on the phone and asked him not to have interest in me. And at that time, he got to know I belong from a rich back ground and he said to my mother that he would do anything they say to marry me. But my mother got against it. After some time, my mother fell more ill. I stopped persuading her about getting engaged with him. I thought the day my mom will get well, I will explain things to them. But when I turned 15 my mother passed away. On 12th of June 2009, I secretly married him and his whole family (including his parents are aware of this and support me and him). I married him because we didn't want anything wrong to happen between us and our relation not to be taken wrong and as from the very first day we had the intention to marry each other and the reason we are struggling is that we are always happy with each other and possess the qualities we wanted in our husband and wife. The question is: I am 16 years old now, I want to live with him and want to re marry him in front everyone. I don't want my father to know that we are already married. I want to persuade him as soon as possible. I want to him to know that we love each other a lot and are happy with each other. Our relation never started for physical hunger, love for appearence, or money but we love each other beacause we can live a wonderful life together. I dont want to do wrong to my father.

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.

 

A father should not refuse someone who asks for the hand of his daughter just for material or social differences. Also, being young in age is not an obstacle to marriage. Indeed, the Prophet conducted the marriage contract of ‘Aa’ishah when she was six years old and he consummated the marriage with her when she was nine.

What you mentioned as being a secret marriage was in reality not a marriage, but it was pure Zina (fornication or adultery). Marriage must fulfill specific conditions, among which are the consent of the guardian and the presence of two witnesses. Therefore, both of you are obliged to repent to Allaah and not do this again. For more benefit on the conditions of a valid marriage, please refer to Fatwa 83629.

Moreover, the fact that the family of this young man knows about your relationship does not make it a valid marriage. Therefore, you must separate from this man.

However, you are not obliged to inform your father about your previous marriage. Now, if you want to marry, you are obliged to renew the contract with the consent of your guardian.

First of all, you should seek the help of Allaah in trying to convince your father, and then you should seek the help of whomever you think may influence him. If he is convinced, then this is what is required, but if he refuses, you are obliged to obey him unless you fear to be tempted by this young man, in which case, you may refer your case to those who study the matters of the Muslims in your country, like the Islamic centers, so that they would marry you off to him. Afterwards, you should endeavour to please your parents.

Allaah Knows best.

Related Fatwa