There's nothing like that feeling of anticipation in the weeks before Ramadan. My heart flitters ceaselessly somewhere between agony and ecstasy at what I hope to put forth and what that blessed month may bring. This pre-Ramadan excitement is an essential ingredient for a productive, meaningful Ramadan and it can never begin too early. In fact, it must start early if we hope to instill the love and importance of Ramadan in our children.

Fasting is the obvious Ramadan activity to begin engaging your children in. However, it does not become obligatory upon them until they reach puberty. The Prophet said: “The pens have been lifted from three: From one who has lost his mind until he comes back to his senses, from one who is sleeping until he wakes up, and from a child until he reaches the age of adolescence.” [Abu Daawood]

Scholars differ regarding the age a child should start fasting. Some analogize fasting to the Prayer, holding that parents must begin training their children to fast at the age of 7 and then hold them accountable at the age of 10. Ibn Qudaamah said: “This means that he should be made to fast and told to do so. And he should be spanked if he does not do it, so as to train him and make him get used to it, just as he should be made to perform prayer and told to do it.” This is the view held by other prominent scholars such as Imaam Ash-Shaafi`i, 'Ataa' ibn Rabaah, AI-Hasan Al-Basri, and Ibn Sireen .

Moreover, we know from various Hadeeths that the child-Companions of the Prophet fasted.

The Prophet sent messengers to the villages of the Ansaar on the morning of 'Ashooraa' (i.e., 10th of Muharram) with the message: “He who has started the day not fasting, let him finish his day, and he who has started the day fasting, let him continue fasting.” A Companion, may Allah be pleased with him, remarked: "We used to fast that day thereafter, and make our children fast as well. We would make them woolen toys. If any of them cried of hunger, we would give him a toy to play with until it was time for ending the fast." [Al-Bukhari]

Al-Bukhari points out that the practice of the people of Madeenah was to encourage children to fast. He relates that 'Umar, the second Caliph, may Allah be pleased with him, saw a man who was drunk during one day in Ramadan. 'Umar may Allah be pleased with him then reproached him saying: "Confound you, how do you do this when our children are fasting?"

Imaam Ibn Hanbal however, recommends the age of 10 and this view is also held by Al-Kharqi, the well-known Hanbali jurist, who said: “When a child is 10 years old and is able to fast, he should start to do so.” Other scholars recommend even older ages. Is'haaq said: “When a child reaches the age of 12, he should be made to fast so that he gets used to it.” But according to Imaam Malik children do not need to fast until they reach the age of puberty.

Still other scholars, like Imaam Al-Awzaa’i do not recommend an age, as every child responds differently to fasting. He said: “If a child is able to fast for three consecutive days without interruption and without becoming weak, then he should be made to fast Ramadan.” It is obvious from these statements that parents need to exercise judgment in order to determine when to start working with every child on his or her fasting training.

The Prophet Muhammad said: “No father has given a greater gift to his children than good moral training.” [Tirmithi]

Our teacher spent the early years of the Islamic message developing consciousness of Allah in the hearts of the believers whereby they implemented His commands of their own accord, out of love, fear and hope of their Lord. Similarly, we should focus on helping our children cultivate their own personal relationship with Allah so that they may incline toward `Ibaadah (worship) of their own accord as they get closer to puberty.

Ramadan is special. Let your children know why so that they feel rooted in history and participating in the past. Tell them that in this very month the Quran was first revealed, Islam first came to the world, the Prophet began his prophethood.

Tell your children that this is the month in which the Angel Gabriel would recite the whole Quran with the Prophet . Work with your children in their recitation and memorization; encourage them to pray Taraaweeh at home or in the mosque, to make Thikr, and to learn new supplications and Hadeeths. Read the Seerah with them or have them listen to it on tapes before they sleep.

Take this month to teach your children that the Prophet was sent to reform our character. Allah, we should reiterate, does not need our fasting. Fasting is a tool we need that should help us improve our character through teaching patience and kindness. Fasting is not a license to get easily upset or angry; it is meant to do just the opposite, in fact. (Note: the best way to teach this, and perhaps the only way, is to actually do it yourself).

The Prophet was particularly generous in Ramadan. Inculcate this characteristic in your children. Organizing Iftaars for friends, family and neighbors not only makes Ramadan livelier for children, but it also teaches the great ethic of giving. Visit the sick and elderly with your children, explain to them this Prophetic practice of emotional charity. Have your children make their own charity box, instilling in them creativity, accomplishment, and generosity.