Reluctant in Accepting Daughter’s Marriage

11-12-2019 | IslamWeb


Assalam o alaikum
i am 26 years old and a man of age 38 wants to marry me as the man said if i will not marry him he will do sin . i told to my mom and father father not answered but mother said he live far away from us what i do . he is muslim and offers prayer . what to do.


All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

First of all, we would like to point out to you that you should not settle for what you have learned about this man; that he is a Muslim who observes the prayer. Rather, it is better to ask about him the trusted people who know him. If they praise his religiosity and character, then try to convince your parents to approve your marriage to him. If they are convinced, then praise be to Allah; otherwise, it is incumbent on you to obey them and refrain from marrying him. This is because obedience to parents is an obligation, whereas your marrying this man in particular is not an obligation. Moreover, the fact that he might take you far away from your family is a considerable matter as it might harm your parents and cause them some sort of inconvenience. It is hoped that if you show dutifulness towards your parents and take their feelings into consideration, Allah, The Exalted, will compensate you with something better than what you have given up. The Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: "Never will you leave something for the sake of Allah, The Exalted, but that Allah will give you something that is better for you in return." [Ahmad in Al-Musnad]

We do not know what would prompt him to fall into sin if he does not marry you. Anyway, this does not oblige you under the Sharee‘ah to marry him. Rather, he is required, as per the Sharee‘ah, to strive in restraining himself from falling into sin. If he could not marry you, he should look for another wife; for there are plenty of women. He should not let himself be vulnerable to the tricks and plots of Satan that lure him to sin. Allah, The Exalted, Says (what means): {O children of Aadam, let not Satan tempt you as he removed your parents from Paradise...} [Quran 7:27]

For more benefit that obedience to parents is obligatory while marrying a specific man is not so, please refer to Fataawa 88591, 102215, and 134498.

Also, for more benefit on the limits of obedience to parents, please refer to Fataawa 271255 and 123554.

Allah Knows best.