i done marriage in 2001 with khala daughter . she is elder then me 4 years. her mother is died. i am living in jeddah with mother and wife . i have three daughters . my father also died . my question is this she hate my mother . because before marriage she think that some family problem create from my mother. therefore she hate her. i told her respect my mother . sit with her. give him little time. but she refuse. if we are going makkah or madinah she not want go with her. if with force i take her . she leave her alone and make her prayer only. my mother is very sick , she is patient of heart and suger . if we are going sea point she sit with children very far. now i catch her she make some wazifah after fajar and after asar prayer of surah noh and some more dua. for against my mother health. she said i will takecare my parents and she will takecare her parents. i told her your and my parents are same. and we will takecare together. i respect her family too much . but she not like my mother. what can i do ? please help me for this matter. if you have any hadiss or qurani ayat. i can show her. may be she will come on right way.

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.

In general, each of the spouses should be kind to the parents of the other, and each should help the other be kind and dutiful to his parents and keep ties with his relatives; this is part of living together in an amicable manner.

If your mother is the maternal aunt of your wife, then your wife is obliged to keep ties with her and be kind to her and she is not permitted to cut ties with her or mistreat her or supplicate against her. Keeping ties with relatives is obligatory and it is forbidden to cut ties with them. The maternal aunt has a great status in terms of her right to kindness and dutifulness from her nephews and nieces.

The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said about the maternal aunt: “The status of the maternal aunt is like that of the mother.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

Ibn ‘Umar narrated: "A man came to the Prophet and said: “I committed a grave sin, is there any way for me to repent?” The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, asked him: “Is your mother alive?" (and the narration by Ibn Hibbaan and Al-Haakim, reads): “Are your parents alive?”) The man replied: “No.” Then, the Prophet asked him: “Do you have a maternal aunt?” He replied: “Yes.” Thereupon, the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, told him: “Be kind and dutiful to her.” [At-Tirmithi, Ibn Hibbaan and Al-Haakim]

So, talk to your wife and clarify to her the obligation of keeping ties with her aunt and of being kind to her, and try your best to reconcile between them. You should use wisdom and act in a way that appeases them both.

For more  benefit, please refer to Fataawa 88695 and 173227. 

Allaah Knows best.