Obeying unjust mother
Fatwa No: 356317

Question

Assalaamu alaykum. I have a question about a problem. I currently live in Europe, and my mother and sister live in Africa. I have bought a house, and I let my sister live in there with her husband without paying rent. My mother lives in another house, not with them. My problem is that my sister has betrayed me. I trusted her with my money, and she has taken it without my permission and refuses to pay it back. I am completely hurt and have asked her to leave my house, but she is still refusing. I am planning to go there and arrange it this myself, but the problem is that my mother did not want her to leave and is against me after all which I have done for them. Allah knows everything, and I have left everything for Allah. However, I am concerned about my mother, because I know that the mother is important and that she has the key to Paradise. But what if she is wrong? I can forgive my sister, but I do not want her to live in my house. Should I still listen to my mother regardless of all the pain and suffering? Should I still let my sister stay regardless of what she has done to me?

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allah, the Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah and that Muhammad, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.

You are not obliged to let your sister stay in your house, and you are not obliged to obey your mother in this regard. However, our advice to you is to obey your mother and let your sister stay in your house as long as this does not harm you. Verily, obedience to your mother and making her happy yields a great reward.

Al-Qaraafi wrote, “A man said to (Imaam) Maalik, ‘O Abu ‘Abdullah! I have a mother, a sister, and a wife. Whenever she sees something with me, she says, 'Give this to your sister.' If I do not do so, she curses me and supplicates Allah against me!’ Maalik said, ‘I say that you should avoid making her angry and save yourself (from her wrath) by whatever you can give her.’” [Anwaar Al-Burooq fi Anwaa’ Al-Furooq, 2/93]

You should know that forgiving those who wrong you is a noble trait and a means to earn the forgiveness and pardon of Allah, the Exalted. He says (what means): {...and let them pardon and overlook. Would you not like that Allah should forgive you? And Allah is Forgiving and Merciful.} [Quran 24:22]

The Prophet, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said, “...Allah increases the honor of one who pardons.

For more benefit, please refer to fatwa 84351.

Allah knows best.

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