Son going against father's advice
Fatwa No: 367216

Question

Assalaamu alaykum. I am writing to you in relation to a difficult situation that I am in, and I am seeking advice. Recently, something happened - but it is now over, and all praise is due to Allah alone - which made me make the decision to quit teaching the Quran for my safety, under the instruction of my father. However, after consulting a number of young people, I have decided that I will continue to teach in the current mosque until I find myself another job, as this suggestion seemed more rational to me. My father’s suggestion is that I leave the mosque that I am currently in and strictly do private tuition. However, a number of young people (e.g. my sisters) have suggested that I continue to teach until I find myself another job, and not to do private tuition, because that does not guarantee me the safety that I am seeking, and quite frankly, it is more dangerous, and Allah knows best. Whereas in the mosque, I have a more stabilised promise of safety. The problem is that I am confused at the moment, because if I do not listen to my father, then I fear that I may encounter problems, and if I do listen to him, then I do not want to remain idle whilst looking for another job (as teaching is the only source of income for me currently), and I also do not want to turn to private tuition because of the harm that I fear. I am going to perform the Istikhaarah (guidance-seeking) prayer for this issue, Allah willing. But what is your advice? Should I listen to my father or not, and if I do not, am I considered a disobedient son then? May Allah reward you.

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allah, the Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah and that Muhammad, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.

Our advice to you is to talk to your father in a kind and gentle manner in order to convince him of your viewpoint, and you may seek the help of wise relatives in this regard. You should clarify to him that you do not wish to go against him or to do something without his consent. It is likely that he would understand your situation and give you his consent to do what you want without inconvenience. If he does not understand your situation and this was the only secure source of income for you, as you mentioned, then you will not bear any sin for teaching the Quran at the mosque, even if your father objects to it, and you are not considered a disobedient son because of that. Please, refer to fatwa 131695.

However, you should strive in showing dutifulness and kindness to him and try to convince him of your viewpoint. Moreover, you should opt for what you believe to be more beneficial for you as far as your religion and your worldly life are concerned. You should perform the Istikhaarah prayer and consult the wise people in your life who are fully aware of the circumstances and then do what you believe is best for you. We ask Allah to guide you to what pleases Him.

Allah knows best.

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