Married Couple Argue All the Time
Fatwa No: 83898

Question

Is there a Du'a that makes husbands and wives argue all the time? I overheard my father telling someone that if this Du'a is recited then the couple do nothing but argue. I ask this because my wife and I argue all the time and in front of our children. We never used to; she was really caring. But lately because I have now focused on my family's (wife and children) needs this has put a strain on my relationship with my parents and sisters. My sisters have done everything possible to hurt my wife. She has said nothing but hurt and in turn takes her anger out on me. We have been married for 18 years and I love my wife dearly. Please tell me how to stop arguing and get peace back in my household. We both pray and recite the Qur'an everyday I firmly believe that something is being done to make us argue so much.

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.

We do not know of any special authentic Prophetic supplication to remove problems that arise between spouses. But a person can pray to Allah morning and evening as recorded from the Prophet so that He, The Great and Almighty, may set one's situation right: “O, The Living and Everlasting! I seek Your Mercy, set right all my affairs and never give me over to myself even for as little as a wink of an eye.” [Al-Haakim from Anas]

Such a supplication and its counterparts are to be used in general, and this will be – Allah willing – beneficial.
However, if there is an indication of magic to cause hatred between you and your wife, then you are permitted to remove such a magic with Ruqyah; i.e., supplications and recitations from the Quran and Sunnah.

Ibn Abu Haatim reported that Layth ibn Salim said while describing the Ruqyah: “I have been informed about these verses as being a cure of magic, Allah willing. They are to be read over a vessel that contains water, then water is poured out on the head of the bewitched person.

These verses are as follows:

Allah Says (what means):
(1) {So when the magicians came, Moses said to them, "Throw down whatever you will throw." And when they had thrown, Moses said, "What you have brought is [only] magic. Indeed, Allah will expose its worthlessness. Indeed, Allah does not amend the work of corrupters.} [Quran 10:80-81]

(2) {So the truth was established, and abolished was what they were doing. And Pharaoh and his people were overcome right there and became debased. And the magicians fell down in prostration [to Allah]. They said, "We have believed in the Lord of the worlds, The Lord of Moses and Aaron."} [Quran 7:118-122]

3) {And throw what is in your right hand; it will swallow up what they have crafted. What they have crafted is but the trick of a magician, and the magician will not succeed wherever he is."} [Quran 20:69]

Moreover, if a person recites in addition to the above, verse 255 of Soorah Al-Baqarah [Quran 2], Al-Faatihah, and Soorahs 113-114, then that will be good. Moreover, you and your wife have to say the morning and evening Athkaar (plural of Thikr -mention of Allah) and to avoid forbidden actions and misdeeds.

As for what happens between your wife and your parents, sisters and brothers, then you should advise all of them kindly, politely and with wisdom. You also have to remind them of fearing Allah, The Great and Almighty, and that injustice causes the worst consequences in this worldly life and in the Hereafter. Know that your parents have rights over you, and it is your duty to abide by and to perform such rights. Know also that any of their doings, except if they order you to do some disobedience, must be accepted willingly and kindly; i.e., to be treated with kindness.

Allah Says (what means): {And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment.} [Quran 17:23]

Then, you have to order your wife to be patient and kind toward your parents, brothers and sisters. Allah Says (what means): {And not equal are the good deed and the bad. Repel [evil] by that [deed] which is better; and thereupon the one whom between you and him is enmity [will become] as though he was a devoted friend. But none is granted it except those who are patient, and none is granted it except one having a great portion [of good].} [Quran 41:34-35]

You have to keep in mind that some wives pretend to be wronged whereas in reality they are oppressors. They act in such a way in order to make their husbands ungrateful to their parents and to break off their relations with relatives.

We ask Allah to set your affairs right.

Allah knows best.

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