Fearful that proposal of marriage will be denied
Fatwa No: 86929

Question

I need help with a matter that is really bothering me. Someone wants to ask for my hand in marriage but is afraid of the answer he'll get from my parents. His father is my mother's brother so we're cousins, but our parents haven't spoken to each other in years, so that is the problem. Is there any Salah that I can do that'll help me to get my parents to agree to this engagement?

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.

 

If your cousin is a person of good character and religion, then it is not permissible for your father to refuse him just because the relationship between your mother and your maternal uncle is bad.

The Prophet said: "If a man whose religion and moral conduct are pleasing to you proposes to you, then let him marry; otherwise there will be great mischief and corruption on earth." [At-Tirmithi]

Our advice is that your cousin should approach your father and tell him that he wishes to get married with you. If your father accepts, then this is what is required. Otherwise, you could seek the help of an intermediary whom you think he would listen to, and who will try to convince him. If your father is convinced, then this is what is required, and if not, you should try to seek the help of Allaah firstly and lastly.

However, there is no special supplication or prayer to convince your father to accept this marriage. But there is the prayer for a need, i.e. a prayer that one performs for any special need, that a person needs from Allaah to fulfill (realise) it for him. This prayer is performed by praying two Rak’ahs, and then praising Allaah and exalting the mention of the Prophet and then saying: “There is no God but Allaah, the Clement and Generous. Glory be to Allaah, the Lord of the Mighty Throne. Praise be to Allaah, the Lord of the universe. I ask Thee for words which will guarantee Thy Mercy, actions which will make certain Thy Forgiveness, a supply of every virtue, and freedom from every offence. Do not leave me a sin which Thou do not pardon, a care which Thou do not remove, or a want that meets with Thy Pleasure which Thou do not supply, O Most Merciful of the merciful ones." As reported by At-Tirmithi and Ibn Maajah who added, "Then one should ask Allaah whatever he wishes in this life and in the Hereafter, He is capable of realizing his supplication."

In conclusion, we would like to point out that it is not permissible to cut relations among relatives and kinship, and even among Muslims; your mother and uncle should reconcile and unite. Cutting relations between kinship is a very serious matter. 

Finally, we ask Allaah to improve the conditions of everyone and choose for us and for you whatever is good.

Allaah Knows best.

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