Having second thoughts about his engagement
Fatwa No: 89010

Question

I'm engaged to a girl since six months. Since that she caused several problems to me, she is nervous and knotty and disobeys me a lot. Many times I thought to separate but I say to myself I should be patient. I need your advice what should I do?

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.

 

If her nervousness is due to a reason that ends, or is possible to treat then we do not advise you to nullify the engagement just because of her misbehaviour. But if this conduct is her nature and you are sure that this would spoil the marital life between you afterwards, then it would be better to leave her now rather than after consummating the marriage and after having children. Finally, we draw your attention that you are an alien man to her as long as the marriage contract is not concluded, so it is not permissible for you to look at her beyond what the Islamic law has legislated, i.e. what would incite you to accept to marry her, and it is not permissible for you to stay in seclusion with her as she is a marriageable woman to you (she is alien to you).

Allaah knows best.

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