She doesn't love or respect her husband
Fatwa No: 90617

Question

We have received your Fatwa inquiry which we would attend to as soon as possible. Your question was "Salaam Alaykum". Is it being a hypocrite if deep down one has no love or respect for a husband who is lives a un-Islamic way of life, does not respect my Islamic ways, does not have any principles or ethics in life, has a very temperamental behavior, in short not a very good human being but he loves me and takes good care of me (when he is in his good mood). All I feel is sheer resentment for him at such times although I do everything and care for him as a wife but I can't bring myself to love him because of these qualities.

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.

 

It is not hypocrisy for someone to hate another because he is committing some acts which contradict Islamic Law. Rather, it is an obligation on a person to hate the disobedient acts that one does.

One has to love for the sake of Allaah and hate for the sake of Allaah. The Prophet said: "The best aspect of faith is to love for the sake of Allaah, and to hate for the sake of Allaah." [Ahmad]  However, the person who commits these prohibited acts should be advised; especially a wife with her husband, because if he becomes righteous, this is good for her in her religion and worldly matters. However, if the husband commits sins that take him out of the fold of Islam, and he does not take heed and repent, then it is not permissible for his wife to stay with him or to let him enjoy her sexually. On the contrary, she should endeavour to nullify the marriage contract with him. Nonetheless, if the sins that the husband commits do not take him out of the fold of Islam, then there is no harm on his wife to stay with him, but she should continue advising him. If she fears any harm by staying with him, then there is no harm on her to ask for divorce even by giving him compensation.

Allaah Knows best.

Related Fatwa