She lost her divorce papers and wants to marry
Fatwa No: 157087

Question

asalam u alikom I was born in an Asian country, when I was 16year of age my family got me to a arraged marrage with a man age of 36. After two month engagements family got as married. He started to abuse me verbally while we were just engaged but I was to young and scard what he is going to do to me and my family. I could not talk to anyone. He strart to abuse me physicaly on third day of marrage which was waitness with lots of people arround us. I felt pregnant straight after the marrage, he never supported us during this period of marrage and I use to get financialy support from my family for both of us. I spend most my pregnancy without food, warm cloth and warm room because he couldn't bother to go and work. After nine months I give birth to a littel girl, and on that time a asked for my divorce, because I just couldn't take this abusive relationship no more. He wrote on a paper that he divorcing me and signed. I lost my littel girl and some of my family on a nature disaster and that paper. I been separated for 13years now it took me long time to move on becuase he made me belive evry man will be same as him, I know I shouldn't say this but I hate him for what he done to me and my mind and my life. I want to get married next month so what do I need to do? Please help me on advicing this matter. Wasalamaikom wa rahmatula

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.

If a husband humiliates his wife and transgresses her rights by hitting her, then this is an abominable act that contradicts the good moral conduct and the good treatment which Islam enjoins the husband to have with his wife. Besides, a husband abstaining from spending on his wife while being able to do so is a great injustice and a grave sin. For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 88304 and 86618.

So, if a wife is harmed by staying with her husband, it becomes permissible for her to ask for divorce.

On the other hand, writing the word divorce is one of the metaphors of divorce, and if the husband intended it while writing it, then divorce takes place as we clarified in Fataawa 89894 and 87034.

Therefore, if your husband had really divorced you, then you have the right to marry another man. The existence of the papers of divorce or its non-existence does not matter. Divorce takes place as soon as the husband issues it to his wife. But if the husband denies divorcing his wife and the wife has no evidence to prove it, then it is the statement of the husband that will be taken into account, as he refers the issue of marriage to its principle, and the principle is that there is no divorce. Ibn Qudaamah said: “If a wife claims that her husband divorced her, and he denied it, then it is his statement that should be taken into account, because in principle their marriage is still valid and no divorce took place, unless she has evidence proving her claim, in which case, she has to provide two trustworthy witnesses to testify to its effect…”

Hence, if you can make him acknowledge this divorce in front of some witnesses, then do so. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 131274.

Finally, if there is a dispute, it is better to take the case to an Islamic Centre. We also draw your attention to the fact that marrying another man before getting the official divorce papers may lead you to some problems and bad consequences. For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 83234 and 92228.

Allaah Knows best.

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