Her friend hates men, claiming Islam gives them superiority
Fatwa No: 217564

Question

Assalamu alaikum. My friend hates boys much saying they r superior. islam gvs them importance etc. How can i advice her in light of islam. She has much wrong guesses. She startd hating from childhood when she saw teachers giving priority to males. Even she says she wont marry anyone. She says u cant make me lyk boys nor remove my hate. i hope u could help by telling how can i deal this islamically.[ shes a good believer i hope]

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His Slave and Messenger.

Allaah, The Almighty, made man and woman complementary to each other and a means of tranquility for each other. Allaah, The Almighty, says (what means):

• {And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.}[Quran 30: 21]

• {And We created you in pairs.}[Quran 78: 7]

Ibn Katheer said: "[Pairs] means male and female - each of them enjoying the other, and through this means procreation is achieved." [End quote]

A woman's life cannot be stable without a man and vice versa. Therefore, if a woman hates the male gender as a whole, then it is something against the Fitrah (i.e. natural disposition) that Allaah, The Almighty, has created in women. Just because Allaah, The Almighty, distinguished men with some features not for women, this does not justify hating them. Allaah is the One Who has distinguished men with some features not for women, and He distinguished women with some features not for men. In addition, Allaah forbade His slaves from wishing for the things that He preferred others with, saying (what means): {And do not wish for that by which Allaah has made some of you exceed others. For men is a share of what they have earned, and for women is a share of what they have earned. And ask Allaah of his bounty. Indeed Allaah is ever, of all things, Knowing.}[Quran 4:32]

Ibn Jareer said in his Tafseer (interpretation of the Quran): "Do not desire that by which Allaah has made some of you exceed the others. It is said that this verse was sent down because some women wished for the status and rights of men. Hence, Allaah, The Almighty, forbade His slaves to have such false desires and commanded them to ask Him for His bounty because desires cause envy and hatred without right cause." [End quote]

This is what may have occurred to your friend and may be what led her to envy and to hate men under the claim that they were preferred to women. Yet she neglects the fact that women have a high status in Islam, as pointed out in Fataawa 163533, 81205 and 87751, which are about the status of women in Islam and observing women's rights. Therefore, you should advise your friend and explain to her what we have mentioned above. We ask Allaah to guide us and her and give us success.

Allaah Knows best.

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