Her husband beats her and she is depressed
Fatwa No: 89495

Question

Twice my husband has beaten me so, that I had to go to see a doctor: last time he even broke my nose. Whenever we disagree about something we always try to discuss it but he is the stronger debater. He must be always right, keeps convincing me that I am the wrong one. No matter what... About 18 months ago I was diagnosed with depression. Since I am taking depression medication my life has improved because it keeps me indifferent towards whatever my husband does and I don't feel helpless anymore. The medication also helps me to concentrate on the blessings in my life: my daughter and friends. I want to quit taking the anti depressant. I tried to quit many times but whenever I go without it for a week or two I feel I can't bear living with my husband, I feel real hatred for him. So I always "escape" back to the medicine so that I can continue to live a normal family life. I am trying to get back to the workforce so that I can establish some financial independence: I have 2 Bachelors Degrees but can't go to work because my husband always finds a reason to stop me. He always uses his hi-profile job as an excuse against the both of us working. My family can't stand up for me: I am an only child, and I converted to Islam 12 years ago. When I married to my Muslim husband, nobody told me about my rights, my "Maher" was only $10.00 so I don't have any financial basis to start a life on my own. What shall I do?

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger. We ask Allaah to exalt his mention as well as that of his family and all his companions.

 

It is not permissible for a husband to beat his wife as this is an injustice that Allaah does not like. The Prophet said: "Many women came to me and my family complaining about their husbands (i.e. beating them), these husbands are not the best among yourselves." [Abu Daawood]. However, Allaah permitted hitting a disobedient wife slightly without leaving any scars or marks as a last resort to correct her provided hitting her is beneficial. Allaah says (which means): {As to those women on whose part you see ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (next), refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly, if it is useful).}[4:34].

So if your husband has beaten you in the manner you described, then he indeed wronged you. But we advise you to be patient about him and advise him, and there is no harm to seek the help of pious people. If things settle down then that is the best thing that will help you overcome your depression, which is a psychological disease which is probably caused mainly by these problems. Besides, we advise you to seek Ruqyah by a performer of Ruqyah reading to you Qur'anic verses and Prophetic supplications and you should supplicate Allaah as much as possible. There is no need for you to work as long as your husband provides you with the cost of treatment and medical fees.

Finally, we draw your attention to the following:

1)       One should not be aggressive and extreme when solving marital problems.

2)       If you fear that your husband may beat you and abuse you again, then there is no harm on you to take the matter to an Islamic centre to remove the harm from you. 

Allaah knows best.

Related Fatwa