The Intimate Rights between Spouses
Fatwa No: 465328

  • Fatwa Date:19-10-2022 - Rabee' Al-Awwal 24, 1444
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Question

Aaslam o Alaikum, Sir I have a important question about marital Intimacy. If a couple is married for two years. But intercourse never happened between them. But husband and wife satisfy eashothers sexual needs. Wife don't want to have intercourse because she says that she don't need it. But husband wants to enjoy intercourse. After 2 years she still don't agree. But they are regularly intimate in other ways. (1)Is this situation acceptable islamically? (2)Is it alright to refuse intercourse when she allow other forms of intimacy? (3) I feel frustrated and anger many times when I get rejection. She is not open about solving our intimacy issues. She tells me that I have to live with it. What should I do?

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

{And due to them [i.e., the wives] is similar to what is expected of them, according to what is reasonable.} [Quran 2:228]. Sharee'ah ordered that both husband and wife have to treat each other kindly, and placed rights for both to treat each other. Sexual intercourse is one of these rights; it is a shareable right for both of them. As such, it is obligatory upon each of them to seek to keep the other chaste. The wife’s rejection of her husband’s desire for having sex violates the Sharee'ah, and renders her sinful. Al-Bukhaari and Muslim narrated on the authority of Abu Hurayrah  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  him that the Messenger of Allah  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: “If a man calls his wife to bed and she refuses, and thus he spends the night angry with her, the angels curse her till the morning.

The wife’s positive response to her husband in some intimate relations does not give her the right to reject sexual intercourse if he has the desire to do so. Being in no need of sexual intercourse does not give her the right to prevent her husband from this right.

Her husband should clarify the matter to her in a good way in light of what we mentioned. He can also seek the help of some people who could positively influence her.

Allah knows best.

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