Her husband spends most of his time outside home
Fatwa No: 160853

Question

Assalamu Alaikum.My husand look after me and my childern very good. only problem is he has a network of friends with whom he used to enjoy outside even nights. some times he goes at nights and come back in the morning.If I ask about that he will get angry and irritated and shouts at me .I used ask him whether he had liqour or went to another woman, he says no.now he went for one week leasure with his friends in Malaysia, leaving his family here.I tried my maximum to control him from friends and wasting money for the last ten years.Me and my children love him very much and treat him well, for me I live only for my family and spend my all time for them only. He does prayers once in a while.Is there any harm for the men to enjoy with friends leaving the family? is he doing the sin? how can I control him from doing so? I advised many times about the prayers and the purnishment in hereafter.He argues that I am doing all for the family ,then what is wrong. I feel sad that even I am doing everything for him as a wife and mother of his children, he finds enjoyment with his friends and wasting money.what is the law in islam ,if a man enjoys outside wife has the right to control or ask about it? Kindly advise how can I prevent hime from doing so and bring his to the right path of Islam. Assalamu Alaikum

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.

It is not appropriate for a husband to spend most of his time outside his home without a sound reason. Even if it is not forbidden in itself, yet it is contradictory to having good marital relationship with his wife. His wife and his children are most in need of his presence amongst them in order to take care of them and properly nurture them at home. If the father is absent from home, this may have negative effects on his family and particularly on his children; and most particularly on his male children. For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 88304 and 86618.

Hence, we advise you to try to find out the reasons why your husband does not like staying at home and why he spends his time with his friends. If there are any apparent reasons, then you should try to eliminate them. You should take care of him and beautify yourself to him and do other things that may make him like his home and spend his time at home.

As regards his negligence about the prayer, and not observing it at its due time, then this is a very serious matter and a grave major sin as clarified in Fataawa 88010 and 88932.

If a person cuts his relationship between him and his Lord, then he is more likely to cut his relationship with his family and not spend enough time with them.

In any case, you should continue advising him about both matters and you should do so in a gentle and soft manner hoping that Allaah will enable him to repent and regain his senses.

If he continues to abandon the prayer, you have the right to ask for divorce, and if you wish to be patient and try to rectify him, then you may do so as well.

Allaah Knows best.

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