Separation does not mean divorce
Fatwa No: 207673

Question

I am married since 13 years with an egytian he`s a "we can say moslem" ,we have a daughter 12 years old. I am muslim since 2 weeks. I live with my husband since a half year as divorced, i live even in the livingroom since then, my husband is not kind to me,very nervous and i trust since a long time no more his words i discovered through years that he is egoistic, rhetoric turn things, not polite, i feel sometimes he is two persons his intelligence is very high, but he is not able to live with any as equal and normal, im too much tired since years, (even my daughter sayd since long time i have to divorce). I converted to the Islam through a very a kind person through him i refreshed me again as a person, in my heart i want him as my husband. But my question is about the divorce from an Islamic vieuw, because i don`t know anything about , thank you for recommend ilhamdulillah

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His Slave and Messenger.

First of all, we congratulate you for the blessing of embracing Islam. Indeed, it is a great blessing that achieves the happiness of this life and Hereafter for whoever learns Islam and submits to its rulings. Allaah The Almighty says (what means): {And if there should come to you guidance from Me - then whoever follows My guidance will neither go astray [in the world] nor suffer [in the Hereafter].}[Quran 20:123]

Ibn ‘Abbaas said: “Allaah The Almighty has promised the one who recites the Quran and act upon it that he will not be misguided in this life and he will not be distressed in the Hereafter.” So, we advise you to seek beneficial knowledge, do righteous deeds and seek the company of good Muslim women.

Amongst the rights of the wife on her husband is to treat her well and be kind to her for that is what Allaah The Almighty has instructed in His Noble Book and what the Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, has instructed in his honorable Sunnah. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 88304.

As for divorce, it is to put an end to marriage. Islam made it in the hands of the husband. If the husband utters it, then the wife is divorced; otherwise, she will remain with him in marriage, even if he does not have sexual intercourse with her nor sleeps with her in the same room. Separation alone is not deemed divorce as we have pointed out in Fatwa 82732.

However, if a woman is harmed by staying with her husband, she has the right to seek divorce. If her husband responds and divorces her, then that is fine; otherwise, she can refer the matter to the authorities specialized in the issues of Muslims such as the Islamic Centers to remove harm from her, i.e. order her husband to divorce her or get her divorced from him. There is also Khul‘ (i.e. if a woman hates her husband, she can ask him to divorce her in return for a compensation that she gives to him). If Khul‘ is Islamically carried out, this will be a minor irrevocable divorce and thus the husband cannot take his wife back (except with a new marriage contract and a new dowry). For more benefit, kindly refer to Fatwa 89039.

In any case, if divorce or Khul‘ takes place, then the wife has to observe ‘Iddah (waiting period). The woman’s ‘Iddah is three menstrual periods if she menstruates, or three lunar months if she is young or past menopause. When her ‘Iddah ends, she is allowed to marry another man. It is not permissible for her to marry another man while she is still in marriage with the first husband or before her ‘Iddah from him ends. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 86604.

Finally, it is worth noting that the Muslim woman should beware of having any emotional relationship outside a legitimate marriage as we have already clarified in Fatwa 81356.

Allaah Knows best.

Related Fatwa