Wants husband to confess his transgressions
Fatwa No: 85192

Question

I am married with a six-year-old daughter and I have recently found proof that my husband has been seeing other women. We have not had marital relations for about two years because of what I thought were stresses and differences in the marriage. Upon being confronted, he insists that nothing has happened and that he does not think I have the right to know anything else. As he says, he does not have to confess to me. I feel completely lost as to how I can continue with a man who I do not trust. I feel as his wife, I absolutely have the right to know everything, so I can evaluate my next move. How can I assess what I need to do, if I do not know the extent of these transgressions? Do I have the right to know?

Answer

Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds; and may His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions.

If you are sure through reliable sources that your husband has illicit relation with a woman, you should exhort him, remind him of the punishment of Allah and His Anger. However, it is not permitted for you to disobey him or leave him alone in his bed since it may lead to more disagreement and hatred between you and your husband and provide him a chance to be more attached to the other woman. If you try your best and still despair of his repentance, and want to separate from him, you may sue him in an Islamic court to settle your matter.
On the other hand, it is forbidden for a husband to inform about his sins to his wife. He should conceal himself if he commits a sin. A woman should do the same, but everyone should hasten to make sincere repentance.
Allah knows best.

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