Looking for a wife via Islamic marriage websites
Fatwa No: 103632

Question

assalaamu alykum Im a male teenager muslim and I pray all my prayers mostly in the masjid unless I have to go somewhere I try to learn about Islam and go to a maktaba to read Islamic books and I were khamis but my weakness is women. I would like to know if it is premissible to go on muslim websites to look for a wife. and do you have to have the girls mahram present to look at her this might be hard because it is on the internet.(2) also when I read about Islamic questions that have to do with marriage or sex I get an erection and my heart beats faster is this a sin? this also happens when I look for a wife on the internet. I really want to get married but I get an erection and my heart beats and i think this is haraam which prevents me from wanting to do that.Is it okay if i go to these type of sites for the purpose of marriage if I try my best not to get an erection or any sexual feeling? Sometimes when I imagine sexual thougts some fluid comes out of my penis that looks like sticky thick water what is the ruling on this? And if you urinate and the urine comes out with desire do you have to do ghusl? my last question is if you decide you want to marry a girl is it permissible to look at her after that with desire? May Allah Reward You Please Reply as soon as possible.

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

 

First of all, we welcome you in our site and we thank you for visiting it.

We do not see any prohibition in looking for a wife through the internet, provided the religious requirements which are mentioned in Fatwa 84396 are met. If those requirements are met, it is permissible to look at your future fiancée on the internet and it is not a condition for her Mahram to be present with her since you are not in physical seclusion with her.

However, we have already issued Fataawa 84929 and 85082 clarifying that the best method for looking for a wife is through trustworthy acquaintances.

As regards your feelings when you look for a wife through the internet, then you are not sinful for that as long as you do not give way to these whispers of the devil or do a forbidden act, like looking at non-Mahram women and the like.

It should be mentioned that the best thing for a person at your age is to stay away from the internet as much as possible so that the devil will not open the door of temptation for you and then it will be very difficult for you to close it. Being safe regarding one's religion has no rival. We ask Allaah to purify your heart and preserve you from illegal sexual acts.

With regard to your thoughts, you are not sinful as long as you do not talk about them or act according to them. As regards the white fluid that you have, it is called Mathy. It is impure and it is an obligation to wash your sexual organ and wash the clothes that are stained by it. However, you are not obliged to perform Ghusl when you have this discharge. Similarly, you are not obliged to perform Ghusl when you urinate; you are only obliged to wash after relieving yourself (either after urinating or defecating).  

Urine does not come out with desire, and looking at the (future) fiancée with desire is something which is permitted by the Shaafi'i School of jurisprudence, but this is a very weak opinion.

Moreover, the Hanbali School of jurisprudence permitted looking more than once at the fiancée when there is no temptation.

For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 82518 and 81551

Allaah Knows best.

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