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His second wife asks him to divorce his first wife

Question

Bismillah AlRehman Al Rahim Assalam alaikum wa Rehmatullah wa barkatahu I have 2 wives and both are muslims Alhamdulillah. My 1st wife has no issues concerning my second marriage. My second wife who knows very well that i am married earlier and have kids, she is not ready to allow me to fulfill my obligations towrads my 1st wife. I asked her to fear Allah and make her life and the here after sucessful. Also i requested her to read Quran for proper guidence and pray regularly to fulfill her obligation and proper guidence on her issues. But i see her always changing on her commitments and making it difficult for me to fulfill my obligation towards my 1st wife. I have warned her that if she ask me to disobey Allah's commandment i am not listening to her upon which she is asking for a divorce every now and then. I said to her that divorce is not the solution, as Allah doesnt like couples going for divorce for non shariah reasons. i asked her to fear Allah and make her life sucessful in this world and here after. Please advice me what shall i do to make sure i dont loose her since i have a baby from her. I dont want my baby to live a life without her father being alive. Jazak Allah khairan

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

There is no doubt that if a Muslim man has two wives, he is obliged to be just between them, as Allaah Says (what means): {But if you fear that you will not be just, then [marry only] one.}[Quran 4:3] Moreover, neither of the two wives of the same husband is permitted to prevent her husband from carrying out his duty towards the other wife, otherwise she would be ordering evil and forbidding good and this is a characteristic of the hypocrites and not a characteristic of the believers. Allaah Says (what means): {The hypocrite men and hypocrite women are of one another. They enjoin what is wrong and forbid what is right.}[Quran 9:67]

Also, she is not permitted to be negligent about what she is obliged to do towards her husband, otherwise she would be disobedient. Indeed, the Sharee’ah clarified the method of treating a disobedient wife in Fatwa 85402, so please refer to it.

However, if your wife can read this Fatwa, then remind her to fear Allaah and help her husband fulfill justice (towards his first wife). What is even stranger is that this behavior comes from her while she is the second wife, whereas it often comes from the first wife. So, we advise her to read Fataawa 91150 and 86783 about how wives of the same husband should treat each other.

Furthermore, it is not permissible for your wife to ask for divorce without a sound reason. Thawbaan  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  him narrated that the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: “Any woman who asks her husband to divorce her, without a religiously accepted reason, the smell of Paradise is forbidden for her. [Ahmad]

Moreover, you are not obliged to divorce her, but if she insists on divorce and the marital relationship worsens between you, and there is no other alternative than divorce, then it might be better for you to divorce her. In this case, you have the right to refuse to divorce her until she pays you compensation if she is unjust towards you.

As regards your daughter, if divorce takes place, then her fostering is for her mother as long as she is not remarried and until your daughter reaches the age of distinction. However, this does not mean that you are not permitted to check on her and provide her with good nurturing and education while she is with her mother.

Allaah Knows best.

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