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Feels attached to a young man and unable to marry anyone other than him

Question

assalamualaikum i am in love with a guy who was at my school its over 8 years now but i can't forget him n anyone talking about my proposal i am thinking about him n getting nervous thinking about it that how will i live with someone else i cry sometimes n pray to Allah subhanawatala for meeting him forever for somemonths now i had been in contact with him he doesn't know me but when i sent him a pic of mine he said i looked familiar n he wants to meet me ..to decide if can be engaged but because we were chattin and messaging each other as its forbidden in Islam to do this with a non mahram i stoped it all including i deleted his contacts!!!!!!! what do i do now ? i can't think of marrying someone else and i am extreamly into him ... please help wassalam

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

Indeed, you did well by cutting your relationship with that young man; the so-called affectionate relationships between young men and girls are a matter which the Sharee’ah does not approve of.

Therefore, you should not accept this young man’s call to meet him, rather if he wants to propose marriage to you, then he may approach your parents for this effect. In case he wants to see you before he proposes to you, then this is permissible provided the religious conditions are met, like you wearing Hijab, not being in seclusion with him or speaking in a soft and attractive voice, and you should speak with him only when it is necessary.

If marrying him is not facilitated, then you should leave him and avoid being attached to him so that the matter will not reach the level of the forbidden kind of love sickness which is a matter that spoils the hearts.

Finally, you should know that one’s thoughts have a big role in preoccupying his/her heart and making it attached to something, so you should preoccupy yourself with good deeds, strengthen your relationship with Allaah and mention Allaah and supplicate Him as much as possible. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 84544.

Allaah Knows best.

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