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Fatwa CenterRelationship to illicit children
Question
Assalam alaikum. Can a muslim man enjoy normal relationship with his adult, non muslim illicit kids.Can he introduce those illicit children as his own son and daughter. Can he take them to different places and have fun with them saying it is his duty as a father and can The man say that he is cementing his ties with the children so that he can present Islam to them some day.Please note that the man is also distant from religion.Can The father stay alone with his twenty years old illicit daughter and also hug and kiss her? The man says its his duty and this will bring them closer to Islam but the fact is the children know nothing of Islam .The sixteen year old son is not even circumsized.And even after the marrige of the man with a pious muslim girl he continued having sex with his ex girlfreind and also with some other girls.The husband says he has nowrepented to ALLAH but will continue keeping extremely close relationship with the ilicit children.What should the wife do? JAZAKALLAH khairan and Wassalaam
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
If this man is having an illegal relationship with a non-Mahram (marriageable) woman, then he should be advised in a gentle manner and reminded of Allaah The Almighty, and he should be counseled to take the initiative to repent. However, it is better if he is advised by a person who is expected to influence him –whether a righteous person, a relative or a friend.
For more benefit on the dangers of Zina (fornication or adultery), please refer to Fatwa 85430, and to Fatwa 81356 on illicit relationships.
On the other hand, the children born out of wedlock should be attributed to their mother and they do not have any relationship with the fornicator (or adulterer), so they are not his children and he is not a Mahram (non-marriageable male guardian) for a girl who is born out of wedlock. Hence, it is forbidden for him to be in seclusion with this adult girl. Likewise, hugging and kissing her is considered an evil act.
Even though the majority of the scholars are of the view that it is forbidden for him to marry this girl, this does not mean that he is a Mahram to her, as being forbidden from marrying her does not mean that he is a Mahram to her.
The definition of the word Mahram in Al-Mubdi’ Sharh Al-Muqni’, from the Hanbali School of jurisprudence, reads:
"By family lineage or lawful reason... ‘but the fornicator (or adulterer) is excluded as well as the one who has a sexual relationship because of doubt [i.e. while believing that he is permitted to have sexual relations with his wife – or any woman] so he is not a Mahram with the mother of the woman with whom he had sexual relations or with her daughter because the reason is not lawful.”
As regards his claim of strengthening his relationship with these children and calling them to Islam, then this is not an excuse for the Islamic prohibitions that he is committing with them. Indeed, someone else may be in a better position to call them to Islam – especially the righteous youth who are at the same age as these children.
He is obliged to stay away from that woman and her daughter, as they are non-Mahram to him. If he wants to attain goodness for himself and wants to be safe in his religion, he should also stay away from her male children. If we presume that he has repented, he may have an illicit relationship (Zina) with that woman again because of his closeness with her children.
As far as you are concerned, you should advise him in the light of the above, and if he persists in this illicit relationship, then it is not good for you to stay with a man who commits Zina. In which case, you should ask him to divorce you even by paying him compensation.
For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 83250.
Allaah Knows best.
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