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Does Loving Your Wife Contradict Loving Allah?

Question

Does loving your wife contradict loving Allah? I strongly love my wife. She does not prevent me from obeying Allah; rather, she helps me to obey Allah and seek knowledge. I am very confused. I feel that my love for my wife occupies all my heart.

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allah, the Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.

Love is to incline to something and desire it. It is of two kinds: the prescribed and praiseworthy love, and the blameworthy and forbidden love. Love of Allah and the Messenger of Allah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is an individual obligation on every male and female Muslim. It is even a prerequisite of faith. Almighty Allah says (what means): {And [yet], among the people are those who take other than Allah as equals [to Him]. They love them as they [should] love Allah. But those who believe are stronger in love for Allah.} [Quran 2: 165]

It was narrated that the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said, “One of you does not have perfect faith unless I am more beloved to him than his parent, child and all people.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

According to the wording of another narration, “…and even than his soul which is between his two sides.

Love of Allah and the Messenger of Allah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, necessitates obeying them in everything that Allah commands or forbids, whether it was revealed in the Quran or said by the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam. Whoever claims love of Allah and the Messenger of Allah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, has to prove it. Almighty Allah says (what means): {Say [O Muhammad]: If you should love Allah, then follow me, [so] Allah will love you and forgive you your sins. And Allah is Forgiving and Merciful.} [Quran 3: 31]

Love of the believers, the scholars and righteous people is one of the best acts of worship that bring one nearer to Almighty Allah. Rather, it is one of the strongest bonds of faith. It was narrated that the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said:

There are three qualities by which he who is characterized (with them) will taste the sweetness of faith: that Allah and His Messenger are more beloved to him than anything else; that he loves a person purely for the sake of Allah; and that he hates returning to disbelief after Allah has rescued him from it just as he would hate to be cast into the Hellfire. [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

Loving your wife, children, parents, siblings, friends and homeland is something natural and does not contradict the love of Allah and the Messenger of Allah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam. It is because love of Allah and the Messenger of Allah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, comes in the first degree.

Man, by nature, loves his wife, is inclined to her, and feels tranquility with her. When she is religious, of good morals, beautiful, and enjoys other good qualities, this makes her more beloved to him. The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, loved his wives, especially ‘Aa’ishah  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  her. The Companions and the righteous predecessors acted likewise. However, one should not be excessive in his love and neglect duties and commit forbiddances. Almighty Allah says (what means): {O you who have believed, indeed, among your wives and your children are enemies to you, so beware of them.} [Quran 64: 14]

In brief, loving your wife does not contradict loving Allah and the Messenger of Allah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, as long as it does not go beyond the normal range. It is normal that a Muslim loves his wife, especially when she is of good morals and religious and helps him to obey Allah and seek beneficial knowledge.

Allah knows best.

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