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Marriage is the best solution for a man who suffers from temptation of women

Question

Salamualaykum. I am single and 36 years old, and trying to be a practicing muslim according the manhaj of our salaf and al hamdulellah, I can say that if I were to marry someone in the future I would treat her well inshaAllah. At the same time I am struggling from the fitna of the women because I work in downtown Toronto. I find that it is not easy to lower my gaze and sometimes I may sit close to women on the public transportation because of there tempting looks. Also fasting Mondays and Thursdays is not helping to the extent that it is solving the solution. So my question is; Should I get married to a good Muslim sister that I am not attracted to, to speed up my marriage process even though I am not attracted to her or should I wait for a pretty and very religious girl (like I was doing for the last 13 years) and continue to be affected by the fitna of women on the way to work and at work. Please reply asap. Jazakallah Khayran.

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

It is indeed good that you want to be a practicing Muslim according to the correct methodology, as you mentioned, and getting married is one of the best ways to help you do that, as marriage helps one to remain chaste. Anas  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  him narrated that the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: "If Allaah blesses a man with a pious wife, then He has helped him with half of his religion, so he should fear Allaah in the other half.” [Al-Bayhaqi]

If a man fears temptation, then he is obliged to marry as stated by the scholars; please refer to Fataawa 84026 and 81853.

It is permissible for a man to look for beauty in the woman he wants to marry, but the most important thing to consider is her religiosity and character. A religious wife is more likely to fear Allaah regarding herself and her husband's rights, and also to protect his honor, property and children. So, if you find such a woman, even if she is not as beautiful as you wish, then you should hasten to marry her, because life is limited and there are many obstacles in the world. For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 85573 and 87465.

Another benefit that a Muslim gains in marriage, besides protecting one’s religion and honor, is that he acquires descendants to benefit him after death. Abu Hurayrah  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  him related that the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: "When a person dies, his deeds come to an end, except for three: ongoing charity, knowledge that benefits people and a pious child who supplicates for him." [Muslim]

We advise you to perform the Istikhaarah prayer before marriage, as it is one of the reasons of success along with consultation; please refer to Fatwa 81434.

Finally, you have to avoid all temptations and do that which suppresses them, especially fasting as it suppresses lust and is a cause of piety that prevents someone from committing what is forbidden. The problem is not in fasting, but rather the problem may be with yourself and the extent that you are prepared to benefit from fasting, or it could be because of all the temptations around you. In any case, you should lower your gaze from women and avoid mixing with them in transportation and the like, and you should hasten to marry, and Allaah will protect you from temptation because of it, if He so wills.

Allaah Knows best.

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