As salamu alaikum.Please look into my question 2705973. I am seriously sick and going crazy over the issue and fear of Kufr. I cannot eat or sleep in peace. As I mentioned, I was confused between following one Madhab strictly or trusting a scholar who gives opinion on research of different Scholars. Meanwhile I wanted to validate my marriage in Hanafi Madhab by renewing it after my husband said Kufr words. That would invalidate the talaq given by him later. But in doing so, I fear I unintentionally was wanting/ happy that he admits the insulting vile words he said about Allah SWT. Because when he admitted saying that instead of being only sad that he said such a thing about Allah (Naujubillah), I was kind of happy that ok then talaq after this was not counted. So we can marry again and stay together according to hanafi view. But now I feel such remorse that how could I feel like that being a Muslim. Now I am trying to make Allah and my religion my most valuable. But I am confused where I stand with my marriage and my faith. I want to repent. I want to have firm faith and love for Allah and His messenger. I want my marriage but not at the cost of faith. How can I stay with my husband knowing that were it not for his insulting Allah, the marriage would be broken in hanafi view and we just got saved from Talaq for him doing Kufr and invaliadating marriage before saying talaq.
All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.
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