Husband Tells Wife to Leave House in Anger
Fatwa No: 439690

Question

Assalamu alaykumCan the husband tell the wife to leave the house in anger , call her wali and tell them to pick her up due to an argument. As he constantly tells his wife she's not fulfilling his rights as they have a new born baby who was born prematurely who need special care as for the mother it is very difficult as there is alot of stress physically and mentally. He also threatens. Her with divorce .as he says all decisions are his as he has the last say so her opinion doesn't count as he is the man of the house.she Ca? not bare his anger

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

Providing a residence is a right due to the wife upon her husband. It is for this reason that Allah, The Exalted, attributed the 'houses' to the wives in His Saying (which means): {Do not turn them out of their houses} [Quran 65:1] The possessive pronoun 'their' in the verse indicates their right to live in those houses, as Al-Qurtubi  may  Allaah  have  mercy  upon  him mentioned in his Tafseer (interpretation of the Quran). Therefore, it is impermissible for the husband to drive his wife out of her house and deny her this right without a Sharee‘ah-approved justification, not to mention that this action on the part of the husband totally goes against the principle of 'living in kindness' that is enjoined by the Sharee‘ah, as per the statement of Allah, The Exalted (which means): {And live with them in kindness} [Quran 4:19] The husband’s excessive criticism of his wife also goes against living in kindness; they should rather resort to mutual advice and well-mannered dialogue.

As for looking after this baby, it is authentically reported that the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “A man is a caretaker in his family… and a woman is a caretaker in the house of her husband...” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim] Another version of the Hadeeth reads: “And a woman is a caretaker of her husband’s house and his children…” [Ahmad]

Al-Haafith Ibn Hajar  may  Allaah  have  mercy  upon  him said: “The man takes care of his family by managing their affairs properly and fulfilling their rights, and the woman takes care of her family by running the affairs of the house and the children…” [End of quote] Hence, serving the needs of the family inside the house is the duty of the wife according to custom, whereas serving their needs outside the house is the duty of the husband. However, if this duty is a heavy burden to the wife, then she is only required to do what is within her capacity, and the husband has to either help her or provide her with a servant since he is responsible for preserving his child and warding off whatever harms him.

We advise both the husband and wife to be patient with each other and fear Allah, The Exalted, concerning the rights that each of them owes the other. They should resort to mutual understanding, respect, and decent discussions in order to maintain the interests and stability of the family and to safeguard this child. Discord provides a gateway to the devil to cause separation and family breakup. Anger is one of the major weapons that the devil uses in achieving this purpose, and for this reason, the Sunnah has warned against anger and urged controlling it by seeking refuge with Allah from the accursed devil, performing ablution, and the like.

For more benefit on how to avoid anger, please refer to Fatwa 86681.

Allah Knows best.

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