How to invite your family to adhere to Islam
Fatwa No: 53349

  • Fatwa Date:9-2-2012 - Rabee' Al-Awwal 17, 1433
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Our family consists of nine members:
My father and mother pray, recite the Quran and remember and mention Allaah The Almighty.
My older brother sometimes prays.
My married sister and her husband also pray but she sometimes delays prayer and her husband no longer performs it regularly.
I may commit some mistakes but I ask Allaah The Almighty to forgive me.
Two of my young sisters pray but the other younger sisters pray only sometimes.
My sister, who is two years younger than me and is now 13-years old, watches films, series, songs and generally watches TV a lot. I have admonished her many times but my father and sisters seldom rebuke her for they themselves watch some songs and series, and if I admonish them they get annoyed. If my father is present he may swear at me and say to me, "Get out and leave your sisters alone as they are still young and do not get out often. Let them entertain themselves!"
I have tried to admonish them many times. Now, and all perfect praise be to Allaah The Almighty, I have bought a computer and I bring them some lessons, recorded Quran, Islamic cartoons and documentary programs in an attempt to provide them with alternatives so that they may cut down on committing such evildoings. However, they rarely watch religious lessons with me.
Finally, I ask you to guide me to a way or a plan to follow through with them via which we can become a religious family who follows the way of the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam (may Allaah exalt his mention). I also ask you to provide me with names of internet sites that publish useful documentary films, cartoons, Islamic anthems, video lessons for Shaykhs and other beneficial programs so that I can copy them to CDs to serve as an alternative for me and my family.


All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.


We ask Allaah The Almighty to guide you, grant you firmness and uprightness and guide your family through you.

We advise you to stay away from the room in which prohibited audio or video recordings are played, to continue walking in the path of guidance, to occupy yourself with memorizing the Quran and learning your religion, to accompany good people, to perform prayers regularly in the mosque, to attend knowledge sessions and follow them when they are broadcast in the media, and to try hard to guide your family - and never despair.

The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, explained to ‘Ali  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  him in the Hadeeth narrated on the authority of Sahl Ibn Sa‘d  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  him that if he was the cause for guiding a single individual to Islam, this would be better for him than precious, large amounts of wealth. [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

You can also seek the help of an experienced caller to Islam and ask him to visit you and speak to them. Also try to make available at your house leaflets, books and cassettes and you will find them beneficial, by the permission of Allaah The Almighty. Also, try to intensify your supplications for your family in secret and do not desert them. Furthermore, do not take part in the wrongdoings they commit.

We also draw your attention to the following etiquettes:

1-      Fill your heart with sympathy towards them and make your intention in offering advice sincere to Allaah The Almighty and in pursuit of His pleasure. This will help you when guiding them;

2-      Choose the best ways and means, such as presenting a cassette or a book that tackles the wrongdoing your family does that you want to change;

3-      Choose the best time. A suitable time is an important factor for advice to be accepted;

4-      Select the best words. See how the prophet Ibraaheem (Abraham)  may  Allaah  exalt  his  mention used to argue with his polytheist father with the most refined phrases and lenient words. Allaah the Almighty Says (what means):

{[Mention] when he said to his father, "O my father, why do you worship that which does not hear and does not see and will not benefit you at all? O my father, indeed there has come to me of knowledge that which has not come to you, so follow me; I will guide you to an even path. O my father, do not worship Satan. Indeed Satan has ever been, to the Most Merciful, disobedient. O my father, indeed I fear that there will touch you a punishment from the Most Merciful so you would be to Satan a companion [in Hellfire]."} [Quran 19:42-45] ; and

5-      Avoid advising them publicly because this brings about the very opposite result to the one sought. Advice in private is more likely to be accepted. Some of the righteous predecessors mentioned in this regard that whoever advises his brother privately has indeed advised and done him good, but whoever advises his brother publicly has vilified and acted badly towards him.

One of the greatest methods of Da‘wah (inviting to Islam) is behavioral Da‘wah, namely to apply the religion so that when people see you they follow your example. Truthfulness and sincere intention are the fundamental bases upon which the acceptance of Da‘wah is founded because whatever comes from the heart reaches the heart, and what comes from the tongue does not go beyond the ears.

Moreover, pursuing every means for Da‘wah to be accepted is a Sharee'ah prerequisite. This can be achieved by following the Sharee'ah criteria for Da‘wah, by adopting an attractive and varied style of Da‘wah and by taking the circumstances of the invited person into consideration. Moreover, the Sharee'ah permits every sound means that may help a caller in his Da‘wah, such as gifts, smiling at the invited people and so forth.

Another useful means of Da‘wah is that your family and sisters see in you a role model: if you are a student, be keen to be smart and diligent in your study; if you work, you should be successful in your work. Likewise, you should be an example in your behavior, morals and cooperation with your family members, especially with your parents, and make them feel that you bear the responsibility for the house.

A caller has to pay much attention to such matters because nowadays they have become a standard for many people.

Allaah Knows best.

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