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Wants to re-establish relation with a Christian girl to marry her

Question

bismillahi rahmaani rraheem.assalamu alikkum.i am in a problem.i liv in dubai.2yrs ago i met a gal here wen i was on a vacation.she is a christian.v had love @first sight.i met her only once.i didnt even remember her face.after our meeting i left to india for degree.v talked thru phone.v didnt hav any intention to love.as v both love our parents very much,v didnt want to betray them.as v r diff religion.but somehow v cudnt stop each others feelings.finaly v fel in love.to say abt her,she is so nice female unlike other females i hav ever met.she was ready to do anything for my happiness.she loved me a lot.this is unkown to my parents.but she said this to her father.her father didnt disagree and waited for me to come.after 2yrs i broke up with her.it was my fault and was unintentional.i didnt knew wat happend.her heart broke completely due to this.by seeing her sorrow her father took promise from her that to forget me.she did,becoz she loved her father mor than anyone else.after losing her i realized her love,value.i tried many ways to get her back.but she wasnt ready.but she loves me still.now v both doing PG in the same class.i dont know wat fate played in our life.v dont even look each other.for 2yrs v loved wthout seing each other.but now..i dont want anyone to hav this fate.now our classes r gonna get over.but i need her back.after our class she will move away so far.i dont know wat to do.i say all these to ALLAH.i pray everyday for sure even tahjood,night prayers.even offer duas n dhikr.i know he wil help me.i was patient til now.but now i feel like talking to her which would be my last attempt.after that i wont get a chance.i want to win her back.shes so nice.its not her mistake to be a christian rite?is that the reason why ALLAH isnt helping me.i dont pray istikharah becoz iam really scared of his decision.before talking to her tell me wat dua,prayer shud i offer for a positive response.plz help me.i request u to pray for me.think iam ur little brother.please

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

First of all, we ask Allaah to guide you and us to His right Path and enable you and us to perform acts of obedience to Him and refrain from His prohibitions.

You should be very grateful to Allaah that this girl cut the relationship with you, as it is not permissible for a Muslim to establish a relationship with a marriageable woman. Therefore, you should repent and not look for any means to re-establish the relationship with her, as this is seeking something which is forbidden and this is not permissible.

For more benefit on the ruling on an affectionate relationship between a man and a marriageable woman, please refer to Fatwa 81356.

Furthermore, it is not permissible for you to supplicate to Allaah to re-establish your relationship with this girl because this is supplicating to facilitate a sin and it is confirmed that the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: "The supplication of a person is answered as long as he/she does not supplicate for a sin, or for the cutting of relations with kinship." [Muslim]

Your statement "I did not perform Istikhaarah because I am scared of His Decision" is very dangerous; this is not a polite statement to say regarding Allaah and you should repent for it. If you do not want the Choice or the Decision of Allaah for you, would you then want Him to leave you to be in charge of your affairs? Whoever Allaah leaves in charge of his our affairs, will be doomed. It is for this reason that the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) used to supplicate: "Allaahumma rahmataka arjoo fala takilnee ila nafsi tarfata 'ayyn, wa aslih li sha'ni kullahu, la ilaaha illa ant."

‘O Allaah, it is Your Mercy that I hope for, so do not leave me in charge of my affairs even for a blink of an eye and rectify for me all of my affairs. None has the right to be worshipped except You." [Ahmad and Abu Daawood]

Finally, it should be noted that it is permissible in Islam for a Muslim to marry a woman from the people of the book provided she is chaste. However, there are many disadvantages for such marriage; therefore a Muslim should avoid marrying women from the people of the book as much as he can.

For more benefit on these disadvantages, please refer to Fataawa 84724 and 89418.

Allaah Knows best.

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