Her husband is too busy with the Tableegh group to take care of her
Fatwa No: 101108

  • Fatwa Date:11-11-2007 - Thul-Qi'dah 2, 1428
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Question

As-Salaam 'Alaykum, I have been married for five years to a man who is very active in the Tabligh Jama'ah. He is however not concerned about his obligations to the family, so long as he is able to go out with the Jama'ah. We are practically living off my mother - we live in her house, most of our household needs come from her stores and she paid the hospital bill when I had my second child. With her positin as a senior government official, she got him a job - a non-demanding government job which was to enable him complete his M.Sc before seeking another one. He is yet to get his M.Sc and has missed his final dissertion twice- while on outing with the jama'ah, and he's not interested in another job-even though we can barely feed on his current salary- because a better paying one might reduce his activities with the Jama'ah. I have spoken to him many times but he does not listen to me. He does not listen to anybody when it comes to his Tabligh activities. The 'elders' of the Jama,ah in our country have also spoken to him- they even asked him to return home from his current outing in Pakistan ,which he extended by another 2 months without prior agreement, but he has refused to do so. Aside from finances, the emotional and psychological trauma - like the time I had a miscarriage; it was my first pegnency following 2 years of infertility; and he went off on an outing the day I was discharged, or when he left me still on admission in the hospital the day after I had my second baby, or... I dont think Islaam means we should not strive for our material needs, or treat those close to us without considertion all in the name of 'giving da'wah to the people'. Or trusting in Allaah. There are so many issues I really cant mention but I just need to ask this; will I be sinning if I ask for a divorce. I'm really unhappy in this marriage and I can't find in myself respect for a man who doesn't feel the need to prvoide for his family.

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

 

If your husband is as you mentioned in the question, then this contradicts the Commandment of Allaah on the husband to be kind to his wife, as Allaah Says (what means): {And live with them in kindness.}[Quran 4:19] However, this by its own, is not a sound reason for seeking divorce.

If your husband fulfils his duty of spending on you and he is not absent from you long enough that you are harmed, then it is not permissible for you to ask for divorce. 

However, you may discuss with him in a nice manner to limit his outings –for Da’wah- to his area, as he might listen and the problem would be solved.

For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 86003, 90846 and 92258.

Allaah Knows best.

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