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Marriage contract takes effect once its conditions are fulfilled

Question

I recently went overseas to get married since I was engaged before going over the phone. It was my first time meeting him and after I did, I didn't like him so I didn't want to marry him. My family pressured me saying that this was the man for me but my mother said just go along with things until we return back to the USA so they don't hurt our family or kidnap my little cousins for me leaving him. I did a engagement party but they had a ceremony like a marriage one for his paperwork so he can come to america. He thought he was married to me and I thought it was just for paperwork. Now I told him I don't want to be with him and he is saying I am his wife. I told my family I never married him I only did it for the paper work. My family is saying that the only way I can get married to someone else is if I get a divorce from him and he will not give it to me. But the thing is Islamically, I am married to a man that I didn't want nor did I sign for? I only had an engagement party out of fear and only for him to think he will be coming to america so he doesn't hurt nobody. Please help me!

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.

The correct marriage contract is that which includes proposal and acceptance from each side of the contract, meaning from the husband and the guardian of the wife, and the presence of two witnesses. If this is what happened, then you became the wife of this man. Intending to make it just on papers does not affect the validity of the marriage contract. The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: "There are three things which if done seriously are valid and if done in jest are also valid: marriage, divorce and manumission." [Abu Daawood] Therefore, the marriage takes place in any case (i.e. even though it was not done with serious intention). For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 83629.

Of course, this applies in case there was a real and correct marriage contract, but if it was just an engagement ceremony, then you are not his wife. Engagement is just a promise of marriage and each party is entitled to invalidate it.

Allaah Knows best.

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