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Telling the truth about a person when giving advice is not slandering

Question

ASA, I wanted to know something, my wife at a wedding was asked by some parents about a girl that was in her class, she was asked about the girls character? My wife intially hesitated and then finaly told the boys parents that, "I think she is commited"... Was that wron wether yes or no, let us know some refrences and what to do? Someone had told us that this was a big sin and that my wife should not have said this, but the guys parents were investigating and she was honest. We were told that if that guy does not marry the girl we will be sinner. And just to let you know the girl from my wife's class is not repenting anything, instead she is happy with her b/f... Please let us know asap

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.

Saying the truth about a girl whom a man approaches for marriage is not slandering, rather, it is advice. The Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said advising Faatimah bint Qays  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  her when Mu’aawiyyah and Abu Jahm  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  them approached her for marriage: "Abu Jahm does not put the stick away from him –another narration reads: ‘‘He is a man who beats women.’’ –as far as Mu’aawiyyah is concerned, he is a poor and miserable man and he does not have any money." [Muslim and Abu Daawood]

When interpreting this narration, Imaam An-Nawawi  may  Allaah  have  mercy  upon  him said: 'This narration is evidence that it is permissible to say the truth about a person when someone is asking for advice and this is not the forbidden slandering, rather it is an obligatory advice.'

However, when advising a person, one should only say the minimum by which the purpose is fulfilled without mentioning the details of the deficiency as it is Islamically required to conceal the sins of a Muslim. Therefore, if your wife did not mention more than what is needed for the purpose to be achieved, then she would not be sinful, and instead she would be rewarded for the advice, Allaah willing, if she intended the reward. However, if she mentioned more details than what is needed, then she should seek the forgiveness of Allaah.

For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 89115 and 81748.

Allaah Knows best.

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