Her husband refuses to have sex with her
Fatwa No: 119794

  • Fatwa Date:2-4-2009 - Rabee' Al-Aakhir 7, 1430
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Assalm-o-elikum, Dear sir, this is the fourth time I am asking this question. Unfortunately I have not got a reply. I am married since 14 years. My husband does not want to have sex with me. If I touch him or try to be intimate with him , he rejects me. This is causing me a great distress. We have a son who is 10. He keeps away from me for 2 or 3 years at a stretch. He does not touch me or show his affection by physical love. I feel as if I am not married to him. I am very upset . Please guide me. I used to masturbate to relive my sexual tension. now I dont. I feel unloved and useless.


All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.


We have already referred you to some Fataawa which contain an answer to your questions and some useful guidelines, like Fataawa 90306, 86403 and 81150.

In any case, here we will answer your question in brief and say that the Islamic Law urged the husband to have good marital relationship with his wife; Allaah Says (what means): {And live with them in kindness.} [Quran 4:19] Among the most confirmed rights on him, is that he should have sexual intercourse with his wife according to her will and according to his ability.

Therefore, we advise you to find out the reasons for which your husband does not want to have sexual intercourse with you, and help him if he needs treatment, in which case he should consult the specialist doctors. However, if it is predominantly thought that he is affected by an evil eye or magic, then he should seek to perform Ruqyah as clarified in Fataawa 13249, 91106 and 82918. On the other hand, if you are somewhat neglectful towards him, like not beautifying yourself to him, then you should beautify yourself to him and the problem could be solved thanks to Allaah.

Nonetheless, if the situation remains the same with him, then you have the right to ask for divorce because of the harm. If he accepts and divorces you, then this is what is required, otherwise you may take the matter to an Islamic court. 

 For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 89039.

Allaah Knows best.

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