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Fatwa CenterShe is confused about a marriage proposal she has received
Question
i am a divorced 31 yr old religious minded lady. a proposal has come for me through a marriage broker from an unmarried person . he is qualified but not on a steady job i. e .he has changed many jobs. religion wise also he is not so religious but people say his character is mouldable. i have performed isthakhara many many times but cant understand anything as there is a lot of confusion. i am not able to decide whether to proceed or not as i feel this proposal is good at times and at times i think of not proceeding. my parents r also v confused.religion is my main criteria and he being an unmarried person also i feel a lot as our prophet has told that it is better for a man to marry a virgin. pls guide me
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad 
is His slave and Messenger.
If you have asked about that man the trustworthy people who know him, and it became clear to you that he observes the religious obligations and avoids the great major sins, then we advise you to accept to marry him because everyone commits minor sins. If it happens that he commits some minor sins, then this does not mean that you should refuse to marry him. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 85252.
Besides, a pious woman may be a reason for rectifying her husband and helping him make up for his shortcomings.
As regards what you mentioned about him not having a steady job, then this should not prevent you from marrying him if he is keen on earning his living in a lawful manner. So, he might be justified in moving from one job to another.
Also, you should not take into consideration your feelings because he did not marry before because a man who was never married before may be happy to marry a divorced woman and our Prophet who advised men to marry virgin women, all his wives were previously married except one; rather, the first wife of the Prophet was married before she marryied him [i.e. she was not virgin when he married her].
On the other hand, we mentioned in Fatwa 82964 what a person who performs the Istikhaarah prayer should do after having performed it. As regards a person’s heart being inclined to a specific matter, then this is not enough evidence regarding the result of Istikhaarah, especially that a person may be following his desires.
Allaah Knows best.
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