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She refused all those who proposed to marry her

Question

Salam alaikum, can anyone be cursed by the hate of people towards Islam and Allah? I am asking because so many men have proposed to me, I made Istikhara and then mostly I feel "No" without any regret or doubt and I get so extremly angry towards men who propose to me, I can hardly contain myself and that is not normal and considering the amount of men who have proposed to me, I am wondering if maybe I am cursed and this "No" does not come from Allah Ta'ala? I thought about making ruqyah to get rid of any curse that I might be inflicted with , but as I am constantly bleeding and since I have read that a woman should be pure, I havent done so... my parents hate religion, especially Islam and they hate I am Muslim and they hate the thought I might marry a Muslim man and be house wife. Is that hate enough to come to me as a curse without the use of any special spell? Salam alaikum

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

This worldly life is a life of affliction and Allaah afflicts a person with whatever He wills of calamities not because of a sin that he had committed but so that Allaah tests his patience and raises his status. Indeed, observing patience over calamities means having more reward, higher grades and having one’s sins forgiven; for more benefit on the virtues of patience, please refer to Fatwa 83577.

Despite the fact that the Prophets were the most honored and most pious people, they were the ones most afflicted with calamities. It is confirmed that the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said: ''The greatness of the extent of the reward is proportional to the greatness of the affliction. When Allaah loves some people, He afflicts them. So, those of them who are content get the reward of being content while those who get angry get the punishment of being discontent." [At-Tirmithi and Ibn Maajah]

Hence, we advise you to be patient as the outcome of patience is goodness, Allaah willing, and you should take consolance by reading about the patience of the Prophets and righteous predecessors, and be keen on learning beneficial knowledge and performing good deeds as much as possible and keeping company with righteous women as these matters are amongst the most important matters that help a person to overcome difficulties.

On the other hand, you did well by performing the Istikhaarah prayer about whoever proposes to marry you, as the Istikhaarah is to put the matter in the Hands of Allaah so that He would choose for His Slave what is better for him/her as Allaah knows the outcome of matters. So, if a person who proposes to you goes away, then you should not regret it, as Allaah might have repelled from you an evil, and this is among the content of the Istikhaarah prayer.

Besides, you should remember the saying of Allaah (what means): {But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allaah knows, while you know not.} [Quran 2:216]

We advise you not to despair in looking for a righteous husband and you may seek the help of trustworthy Muslims who are living in your country in this regard.

As regards the Ruqyah, it is beneficial in all cases, Allaah willing, so you should be keen on performing it.

With regard to the continuous bleeding that you mentioned, it may be bleeding outside your monthly periods due to a disease and the like. A woman who has discharges outside her monthly periods is like a woman who is pure; she may recite whatever she wishes of the Quran and supplications. For more benefit on the ruling on a woman who has bleeding discharges outside her monthly periods, please refer to Fatwa 88022.

Nonetheless, this bleeding may be menses, which is the natural blood which a woman has during her regular monthly periods, and it is dark in color and, in general, a woman has pain when she has this kind of blood. However, some scholars permitted a woman who is in menses to recite the Quran without touching the Mus-haf (the Arabic text of the Quran) whether this is when performing Ruqyah or else. For more benefit, please refer to Fataawa 91356 and 83294.

It should be noted as well that Ruqyah can be performed without reciting something from the Quran; it can be performed by reciting the legislated mention of Allaah and Prophetic supplications.

Finally, if your parents are non-Muslims, then it is not strange that they hate you being a Muslim, and hate you getting married to a Muslim. However, you are Islamically obliged to be kind and dutiful to them. But you should not obey them in something that is a disobedience to Allaah, among which is getting married to a non-Muslim as this is Isalmically forbidden. You should know that the best act of kindness and obedience to them is to call them to Islam and to be a reason for them becoming a Muslim, so you should be keen on this and supplicate Allaah to enable you to do this.

For more benefit on the method of calling one’s parents to Islam, please refer to Fataawa 102075, 84345 and 88906.

Allaah Knows best.

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