I am a 21 year old girl. I have a strong desire for getting married, and this has had a negative effect on my psychological state. What should I do?
All perfect praise be to Allaah, the Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His Slave and Messenger.
First of all, one should know that his life is his capital that should be invested and utilized for his benefit in this life and the Hereafter. Therefore, one should not waste any available opportunity to obey Allaah. A Muslim must make use of his time in supplicating to Allaah The Almighty, observing religious obligations, doing voluntary acts of worship, socializing with righteous people and contemplating this life and the Hereafter. Moreover, he must not waste his time worrying about foreordained matters which work according to fate, since Allaah has predetermined what each human is meant to get. Whether you worry or not, this would not change fate in any way. A Muslim should, therefore, keep himself busy with performing obligatory and voluntary acts of worship and constant supplication and reliance upon Allaah.
As for your desire for marriage, please be reminded that the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, directed the youth who were unable to marry to observe voluntary fasting. It was narrated that the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, ordered Muslims to marry if they could afford marriage expenses because marriage helps one to lower one's gaze and protects from committing fornication. Also, he advised those who could not afford the expenses of marriage to observe fasting, because fasting safeguards a Muslim against committing acts of disobedience. [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
Consequently, we advise the questioner to be regular in observing voluntary fasting, until Allaah The Almighty gives her what He wants her to receive. She should be patient with Allaah's decree, yet should supplicate to Him, the Almighty, to grant her a husband.
And Allaah Knows best.
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