Wife not obliged to live with in-laws while husband is away
Fatwa No: 291040

Question

I am married from 2and half yrs my husband call me to dubai soon after getting pregnant my husband force me and send me to india to.my mothers house by promising me he will call me there after my delivery soon after my delivery my in laws started fighting with me to stay with them in there house then there strated keeping my son and does not allow me to play with my son once in 8days i use to go.to my mother house for one day when ever i returned there used to say my baby got week in my mothers house daily there used to say roti is not well cook salan is not good i kept quite i took it on heart and went in depression i told my husband to call me there there there never allow my husband and me to go togother with my son and spend time after praying alot i got pregnant when my husband came here for 15day only but i got some medical problem in pregnancy i ask my husbands permission to stay in my mothers house for one monthin my mothers house my husband say ok but my in laws are fighting with me daily there say my son is becoming slim i love my both kids and dont want to spoil there lives. Do mother have no right for her children?

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His Slave and Messenger.

There is no doubt that the mother has rights to her child; in fact, she has more rights to him than any other person because of the great obligation that he has toward her. This is why Islam made a person's dutifulness to his mother three times greater than his dutifulness to his father. Abu Hurayrah  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  him relates: “A man came to the Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, and said, "O Messenger of Allaah, who is more entitled to my best companionship?" The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said, "Your mother." The man said, "Who is next?" The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said, "Your mother." The man further said, '"Who is next?" The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said, "Your mother." The man asked for the fourth time, "Who is next?" The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said, "Your father."” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

We advise the in-laws to treat their daughter-in-law and her family with kindness and respect so as to follow the practice of the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, with his in-laws. The daughter-in-law, in addition to being the son's wife, is the mother of his child. Therefore, the respect showed to her implies respect for their son and this helps strengthen affection between the spouses and family members.

On the other hand, it is not incumbent on the wife to stay in the same house with her in-laws as highlighted in Fataawa 86388 and 84608. Rather, when the husband is away, it is better for the wife to be in her parents' house where she would most likely feel more comfortable. It is inconceivable that a mother would neglect her own child; a mother is often the keenest of all people in doing what is best for him and giving him a good upbringing. Moreover, it is not wise to criticize the food she cooks or the bread she bakes as this contains a kind of vileness and harsh treatment.

Finally, we advise the husband to let his wife stay with him wherever he resides, especially if he is far away from her and his absence from her due to his circumstances at work could be lengthy. If he cannot bring her over to stay with him, then he should not be away from her for a time so long that it harms her. In fact, it is impermissible for the husband to stay away from his wife for more than six months without her consent, unless he has a valid and legitimate excuse for doing so. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 84073.

Allaah Knows best.

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