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Difference in nationality does not justify the refusal of a suitor

Question

A young man from a different Arab country than mine, who is religious and has high morals, proposed to marry me. However, my parents refused him because we are from different countries, even though he provided all guarantees: home, work, and residence in his country. I am satisfied to marry him and want to know whether my family will bear a sin for preventing me from marrying him. What is the ruling if I marry him without their consent? If I do so, would I bear a sin?

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, the Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His Slave and Messenger.

According to the majority of scholars, it is impermissible for the woman to marry without the permission of her guardian. The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “Any woman who marries without her guardian’s permission, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid.” [At-Tirmithi]

If the guardian prevents her from marrying someone whom she wants to marry and who is suitable for her, without a reason approved by Sharee‘ah (Islamic law), then her matrimonial guardianship moves to the person who follows him in respect of her guardianship. For example, the grandfather becomes the matrimonial guardian of the bride instead of the father. If all her matrimonial guardians prevent her without a valid reason under Sharee‘ah, then, the ruler will be her matrimonial guardian.

‘Aa’ishah  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  her said that the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “The Sultan (man in authority) is the guardian of one who has none.” [Ahmad] The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, also said: “If there is a dispute, the Sultan (man in authority) is the guardian of one who has none.” [Ahmad] The Sultan here means the legal ruler or whoever acts on his behalf such as the Sharee‘ah judge.

Religiosity is the most important Sharee‘ah condition and prerequisite to look for in a suitor. The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “If a man with whose religiosity and manners you are satisfied proposes to you, accept him. If you do not do so, there will be Fitnah and great corruption.” [At-Tirmithi]

A suitor should not be refused just because he comes from another country.

The father— may Allaah guide him— should give his daughter in marriage to this suitor as long as he is sure of his good morals, religiousness, that he is suitable for his daughter and the girl wishes to marry him. If he does not do so, then, he is considered a preventer. This act is forbidden under Sharee‘ah. Allaah The Almighty Says (what means): {…do not prevent them…} [Quran 2:232] So, it is impermissible for the marital guardian to prevent the bride and if he insists, his marital guardianship will be waived and will turn to the following person who is entitled to her marital guardianship. If all her guardians prevent her, then, the guardianship turns to the judge of the Sharee‘ah court.

There are many bad consequences of preventing a woman from marrying a suitable man whom she chooses. Therefore, the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “… If you do not do so, there will be Fitnah (trial) and great corruption.” So, the guardians should fear Allaah The Almighty and not become a cause of this mischief.

Allaah Knows best.

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