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When to mention flaws that hinder marriage if consulted

Question

I am positive about a love relationship that was marred by sexual activities between a man and a woman and the fact that this woman then got engaged to another man. If this woman’s fiancé consulted me about his fiancée, should I tell him about her previous affair? What if he asked about that affair specifically? Is it better to conceal a Muslim woman’s faults, or would I be sinning for withholding my testimony?

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His Slave and Messenger.

Undeniably, it is permissible for one who is consulted regarding a choice for marriage to mention the defects and flaws of the man or woman that may affect the marriage; for it is obligatory for a Muslim to offer sincere advice to his fellow Muslim. Some Muslim scholars inferred this from the tradition that was reported on the authority of Faatimah bint Qays  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  her when she asked the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam: “Messenger of Allaah, Mu‘aawiyah and Abu Jahm proposed to marry me.” Whereupon, the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “As for Abu Jahm, he never puts his stick off his shoulder (i.e. either he travels a lot or he beats his women). As for Mu‘aawiyah, he is very poor and has no wealth.” [Muslim]

Furthermore, the questioner should pay attention to the fact that it is permissible for you to mention this woman’s flaws that may affect the marriage to that man in urgent need and to mention only the flaws that would prejudice the interest of the man who sought your advice in this regard.

If this woman has ended this illicit relationship and turned, in sincere repentance to Allaah The Exalted, then there will not be a valid interest under the Islamic Sharee'ah to reveal her secret to her fiancé. You should, in this case, conceal your Muslim sister’s faults. However, if this woman did not repent of such sin, there is no doubt that you should inform her fiancé of her previous illicit relationship, and it would be your duty in this case, as explained above.

Allaah Knows best.

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