She and her husband live with her stepfather who makes lewd comments to her
Fatwa No: 332179

  • Fatwa Date:20-9-2016 - Thul-Hijjah 18, 1437
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Question

I went on a vacation two months ago and just came back. I totally changed. I do not like to go near my stepfather anymore. I feel very uncomfortable. What happened is that my husband and I were having sexual intercourse and caught my stepfather watching us. My stepfather would call me all sorts of names prior to being caught. He would say many things, like, "Sex will not bring you to Jannah (Paradise), control your desires, prostitute, dog..." He interferes with my sex life, and we have no control because as of right now my stepfather is supporting me because my husbands papers is still in process. So if we talk or say something against them, then they start threatening to cancel his papers. My problem is that I cannot go close to my stepfather, I do my responsibilities but will no longer massage him, like I used to. My mother keeps yelling at me that I became a totally different person. I do not want to tell her what happened because I feel that it might affect her marriage. I need help; I am pregnant, and I constantly get emotional abuse. I hear stuff like, "Your husband can play with you under the bed covers, and now we have to suffer taking care of you; he got you pregnant, that is all he can do; you forgot all the money that we have spent on you after you got married; we spent all our life savings on you, but you already forgot us." Every time I spend time with my husband, my parents get mad. My mom would mention my stepdad and say that I forgot who took care of me for 15 years and that I only have been married one year to that guy and then went two months on vacation and kept having sex and forgot my parents ask whether there is only one guy with a penis. I have been constantly getting this type of talk, if not today, then the next week, ever since I and my husband got married. My parents seem to be jealous of the time that I give to my husband, but the problem is that my husband is not here, so I want to talk to him for half an hour, but now they are limiting my calls, and I have to hide to call my husband. Please help. Wassalaam.

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, The Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger. 

What we advise you to do is that you and your husband try to get your own residence away from your mother's house, even if in a different country, and you should continue to be kind to your mother to the best of your ability. Until that becomes possible, you must be careful and conservative in dealing with your stepfather. It is absolutely impermissible for you to massage him, even if your mother ordered you to do so. If your husband comes to your mother's house and asks you to bed, then you have to make sure to conceal yourselves from them completely so that no one can see you or hear your voices while having intimate relations.

For more benefit, please refer to fataawa 84608and 103083.

Allaah knows best.

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