Father encouraging daughter to date and marry non-Muslim
Fatwa No: 338686

Question

Assalaamu alaykum. My husband is encouraging our daughter to date and later marry a non-Muslim man that she met. We have been fighting over this. At this point, I feel that I want to leave him, and I cannot bear the idea of having marital relations with him. What is the position of Islam on this? Wassalaam.

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah and that Muhammad, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger. 

Firstly, we would like to thank you for your zeal for honoring the limits of Allah, The Exalted. This is indeed what every believer should do; may Allah reward you generously.

There is no doubt that Islam prohibits such illicit relationships between men and women outside of marriage, as has previously been underlined in fatwa 81356. It is also impermissible for the Muslim woman to marry a non-Muslim man, as we explained in fatwa 81220.

If your husband approves of his daughter's illicit relationship with this non-Muslim man, then he has committed a grave violation of the Sharia. In fact, this is Diyaathah (lack of jealousy for one's womenfolk). A Dayyooth man is a cuckold who approves indecency committed by the women under his guardianship and is not jealous with regard to their honor. Our advice to you is to supplicate Allah, The Exalted, for your husband and implore Him to guide him to the straight path. You should also advise him kindly and wisely and remind him that his daughter is entrusted to him and that he shall be held accountable for her; he is responsible for protecting her from corruption, not encourage her to be corrupt; Allah, The Exalted, says (what means): {O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones, over which are (appointed) angels, harsh and severe; they do not disobey Allah in what He commands them but do what they are commanded.} [Quran 66:6]

As-Sa‘di  may  Allaah  have  mercy  upon  him commented on the verse saying, “It means, ‘Your children are a trust placed with you (parents), and Allah has enjoined you to take care of them. You must strive to preserve their religiosity and worldly interests; you should teach, discipline, and protect them from corruption and evils...’

Ibn ‘Umar, may Allah be pleased with him, narrated that the Prophet, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said, “You are all guardians and responsible for your wards ... and the man is a guardian in his family and is responsible for his wards...” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

You may seek the help of someone to whom your husband may listen to advise him; hopefully he would listen to them and desist. If this happened, then praise be to Allah; otherwise, you are entitled to ask for a divorce on account of his dissoluteness (Fisq). Please refer to fatwa 131953 about the acceptable reasons for requesting a divorce. However, divorce is not necessarily the best solution; retaining your marriage may yield more benefit such as reducing the corruption of your daughter, taking care of her, and trying to reform her. So it is better not to hasten to divorce.

Finally, you should have a role with your daughter, especially given that girls are usually closer to their mothers. Try to spend more time with her and win her over so that you would be able to influence her. Do not forget to supplicate Allah in her favor frequently; the supplications of the parents for their children are accepted. Abu Hurayrah, may Allah be pleased with him, reported that the Prophet, sallallahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said, “There are three supplications that will undoubtedly be answered: the supplication of one who has been wronged; the supplication of the traveler; and the supplication of a parent for their child.” [Ibn Maajah]

Allah knows best.

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