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Fatwa CenterPiety, not money, is true nobility
Question
I proposed to a girl who is my colleague at work. She is older than me. Her father expressed his initial agreement but asked for some time to think. During this period, her uncle introduced his friend, who is richer than me, as a suitor. Her uncle was aware of my proposal. Consequently, her father rejected me even though she still wants to marry me and rejects other suitors. What should she do to convince her father who only thinks about his interest?
Answer
All perfect praise be to Allaah, the Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His Slave and Messenger.
If you are religious and have good morals— and we hope you do — the girl should remind her father of the Hadeeth (narration) of the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam: “If a man whose religion and manners you approve proposes to you, then let him marry [from woman under your guardianship]. If you do not, there will be Fitnah (trial) and great corruption.” [At-Tirmithi and Ibn Maajah]
She should tell her father about her desire to marry you. She should inform him that it is unlawful for him under Sharee‘ah (Islamic law) to prevent her from marrying the one whom she wants and whose religion and manners are approved. Preventing the daughter from marrying the one whom she wants is considered an unlawful hindrance. True nobility stems from piety, not money. Allaah The Almighty Says (what means): {Indeed, the most noble of you in the sight of Allaah is the most righteous of you.} [Quran 49:13]
She should seek the help of righteous people. If her attempts do not succeed, then, she should submit her case before the Sharee‘ah court so that the judge would compel the father to give her to you in marriage or the judge may do so himself. This is the case if you are religious and well-mannered; otherwise— forgive us for saying this hypothesis— the girl should not expose herself to difficulties between herself and her father especially if the other suitor is also religious.
We bring to your attention that the girl whom you want to marry should be adherent to religion. The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “A woman is married for [either of] four [characteristics]: her wealth, her noble descent, her beauty or religion. So, marry the religious one, lest you should lose.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
The woman should also be keen on marrying a religious person, as was previously clarified. In this way, marital happiness can be attained.
Allaah knows best.
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