Spouses staying away from each other to keep spark alive
Fatwa No: 343837

Question

Assalaamu alaykum. I read an article backed by scientific evidence on psychology that in long-term relationships like marriages, living apart most of the time keeps the spark alive for couples. I also feel the same. Can one try this sort of things to make their married life interesting and exciting, like by sending the wife to her parent's home and meeting less frequently to keep the spark alive?

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

This claim is not contested, especially regarding the matter of the spouses staying apart from each other for a long time, because by doing so, a husband may be unjust by not fulfilling some of his wife’s rights.

For instance, the wife has the right that her husband does not remain absent from her without her permission for a period of more than six months. In addition, such an absence may lead to missing many benefits, such as each spouse keeping the other chaste and protecting each other from temptation.

Also among the benefits which may be missed is the nurturing on goodness and faith through holding sessions of Quran recitation and learning Islamic knowledge at home; Allah says (what means): {O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones, over which are [appointed] angels, harsh and severe; they do not disobey Allah in what He commands them but do what they are commanded.} [Quran 66:6]

The scholars of the Salaf interpreted the above verse saying, “It means teaching them and disciplining them.

Moreover, the increase of love is not limited to being absent from one another; rather, there are matters which may strengthen love and affection between the spouses, such as each one beautifying themselves for the other and respecting the other and appreciating them, as well as going out together for some permissible entertainment and so on.

However, if the spouses need – sometimes – to be absent from each other in order to achieve the mentioned purpose, without any harm or injustice, then this is acceptable.

Allah knows best.

Related Fatwa