Father preventing daughter from visiting divorced mother
Fatwa No: 345931

  • Fatwa Date:15-2-2017 - Jumaadaa Al-Oula 19, 1438
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Question

Assalaamu alaykum. I am a 21-year-old girl. My parents have been divorced for several months now, and I live with my dad to take care of him and go to my mom's house to sleep there during the weekends and holidays. However, dad was not very welcoming to that idea; he hates mom so much although she did not do anything to him. He used to abuse her emotionally ever since their marriage, and a few times physically, until it was too much to handle. In any case, a few days ago I told him that I was going to my mom's place to spend the holidays there. He refused and then, because I told him that he has no right to abandon me, he yelled at me and hit me, so I called mom to pick me up and left the home, and he then sent me a message saying that he was angry at me and that I am no longer his daughter and that he is ashamed of me and never ever wants to see me again. I know that I have not done anything wrong, especially given that he only abandoned me and not my brothers, and that is not what Islam is about. My question is: does he have the right to be angry at me and to never forgive me? By the way, I live in Saudi Arabia, until three years ago, the law would force girls to be in their father's custody, but they can choose now, so he has no right to prevent me from going to see my mom.

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

Your father has no right to prevent you from visiting your mother; preventing you is urging you to sever the ties of kinship, while Allah says (what means): {And cooperate in righteousness and piety, but do not cooperate in sin and aggression.} [Quran 5:2] 

You should not obey him in this as there is no obedience to any person in the disobedience of Allah. ‘Ali, may Allah be pleased with him, narrated that the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said, “There is no obedience [to anyone] in disobeying Allah; obedience is only in what is permissible.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

For more benefit, please refer to fatwa 84942.

He has no right to become angry at you or refuse to pardon you, because by just visiting your mother without his permission, you are not being negligent of his rights.

Also, he is wrong in disowning you or refraining to see you. We advice you to be patient with him and to supplicate Allah to make him regain his senses and strive to please him even by seeking the mediation of righteous people. We also advise you to endeavor to reconcile between your father and your mother and try to convince him to take her back if this is not the third divorce, because if he divorced her thrice, then she is irrevocably divorced from him with major separation and he cannot take her back (unless she, after having married and established conjugal relations with her new husband, is divorced for some reason or widowed).

For more benefit on how to reconcile between disputing parents, please refer to fatwa 95504.

Allah knows best.

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