Marrying girl who was secretly married and had abortion
Fatwa No: 346948

  • Fatwa Date:8-3-2017 - Jumaadaa Al-Aakhir 10, 1438
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Question

I met a girl whom I want to marry and have children with. She is of good nature and is fit for me as I think that she can be a good in my life. However, her past bothers me. She used to like a boy in 2011, but the boy's grandmother did not like that girl as she was from a poor family. The girl left him, and another boy asked her to marry him. However, out of fear that their families might not agree to this, they gor married in secret. The boy assured her that he would ask his parents for a proper wedding. During this period, the girl got pregnant, but her husband saw something disturbing about her past and started asking her to get an abortion. He also said that he would divorce her as she was not 'pure'. The girl did not want an abortion but eventually did get one. Then the boy divorced her. After some time, that boy asked her for her forgiveness and asked her to marry him again. She did get married to her ex-husband again for the sake of her dead fetus, but she later came to know that he had no intention of keeping her but just wanted to have sex. After that, they got divorced again. Afterwards, that girl suffered through a lot as she is from a poor background but very intelligent in academics. After that, she started a new life to stabilize her family by looking for a job, but everyone tried to exploit her and harassed her and she left every single job as she did not want any man to come near her. In 2016, she met me. Our attraction for each other is not based on lust. We got in a relationship, and my parents are ready and her parents too. Before marriage, she told me all these things so that I already know about it in case any of these things come up in later life. She says that she loves me a lot. She regrets her past as she was fooled. She did everything for her husband, but he wanted her only for physical reasons. What is the Islamic ruling on this? I want to marry her so that I can save her. I can give her and her family some peace. I intend to forgive everything related to her past as it was before me and is between her and Allaah. Kindly reply to me asap. Thank you.

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah and that Muhammad  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) is His slave and Messenger.

What is important is the condition of this girl now; if she is righteous, then marry her. Abu Hurayrah  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  him narrated that the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said, “A woman is married for four reasons: her wealth, her family lineage, her beauty, and her religion. So choose the religious one, and you will prosper.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

Her past sins do not prevent you from marrying her; there is no person who does not commit mistakes or who is not neglectful about the rights of his Lord.

What is important is that one returns to his Lord and follows the bad deed with a good deed so that the past sins will be forgiven. Allah says (what means): {But whoever repents after his wrongdoing and reforms, indeed, Allah will turn to him in forgiveness. Indeed, Allah is Forgiving and Merciful.} [Quran 5:39]

Besides, Abu Hurayrah  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  him narrated that the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said, “By the One in Whose Hand my soul is, were you not to commit sins, Allah would replace you with a people who would commit sins and then seek the forgiveness of Allah; and Allah would forgive them.” [Muslim]

Also, Anas  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  him narrated that the Prophet  sallallaahu  `alayhi  wa  sallam ( may  Allaah exalt his mention ) said, “Indeed all of the children of Adam commit sins, but the best of them are those who repent.” [At-Tirmithi]

However, it is not enough that you judge based on what appears to you of her condition; rather, you should ask the trustworthy people who know about her conduct, and if they say good things about her, then perform the Istikhaarah (guidance-seeking) prayer and ask Allah to guide you in this matter as He knows everything and He knows the consequences of things.

For more benefit on how to perform the Istikhaarah prayer and some of its rulings, please refer to fatwa 81434.

After this, we hope that Allah will facilitate things. It is said that the one who seeks Istikhaarah never loses, and the one who consults people never regrets.

If marriage is facilitated with her, then all the best, otherwise, cut every form of relationship with her in order to be safe from the devil and his temptation. Indeed, it is not permissible in Islam for a man to have an affectionate relationship with a non-Mahram (marriageable) woman. Please refer to fatwa 81356.

We also point out the prohibition of abortion without a valid excuse, especially if the soul has been breathed into the fetus, as this constitutes unjustly killing a soul that Allah has forbidden to kill; please refer to fatwa 128722.

Allah knows best.

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