Excessive love talk is not laudable
Fatwa No: 37792

  • Fatwa Date:5-5-2011 - Jumaadaa Al-Aakhir 2, 1432
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Question

What is the Islamic ruling on excessive love between the spouses? Is it permissible to have prolonged love talk between them? Please clarify this issue for men in detail.

Answer

All perfect praise be to Allaah, the Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.

 

Mutual marital love is an instinctive feeling which can also be acquired. Moreover, marital love does not contradict love for Allaah The Exalted and His Messenger, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam; as they naturally come first. A normal human being feels love, affection, and sentiments towards his wife and finds tranquility with her. Such love is even boosted and enhanced if the wife is religious, well-mannered and beautiful, who possesses adorable qualities that secures her a special place in her husband’s heart. The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, loved ‘Aa’ishah  may  Allaah  be  pleased  with  her the most, and the Companions and our righteous predecessors loved their wives too.

However, such praiseworthy marital love should not exceed the proper bounds that foster negligence of due rights or lead to committing what is forbidden; Allaah The Exalted Says (what means): {O you who have believed, indeed, among your wives and your children are enemies to you, so beware of them.} [Quran 64:14]

A husband’s love for his wife does not conflict with his love for Allaah The Exalted and His Messenger, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, as long as it does not exceed the due and normal limits. In fact, it is normal for the husband to love his wife, especially if she is religious and well-mannered who helps her husband to worship Allaah The Exalted as well as assists him in seeking knowledge. However, excessive love talk that might lead to wasting one’s time which can be utilized in doing useful activities is undesirable; since man will be held accountable for all that he says or does. Allaah The Exalted Says (what means): {And indeed, [appointed] over you are keepers, * Noble and recording; * They know whatever you do.} [Quran 82:10-12]

Furthermore, Allaah The Exalted also Says (what means): {And do not pursue that of which you have no knowledge. Indeed, the hearing, the sight and the heart – about all those [one] will be questioned.} [17:36]

Hence, you both should come out with a plan to utilize your precious time duly in carrying out useful activities such as memorizing some verses of the Noble Qur’an everyday, or some Hadeeths (narrations). Finally, we beseech Allaah The Exalted in supplication to grant you success and guidance.

Allaah Knows best.

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