Asalamualikum , brother i hve been travelling to A country for business purposes . I was indulged in Zina . I try to Do Touba but i break it all the time . Now i met a lady who is divorced and have four children she lives in rhe same country but when i ask permission from my parents they doesn’t allow me to marry that girl with four kids . After a loss in business m in a condition that i m not in a position to marry someone soon because we owe alot of money. If i marry that lady i could get a chance to support my family also and to prevent myself from zina also . Can i do the marriage without permission of my parents or i would be a disobedient child ? Thanku
All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.
There is no doubt that adultery is one of the worst sins and one of the grave major sins that bring the wrath of Allah. Therefore, you are obliged to take the initiative to repent to Allah.
Repentance is achieved by stopping the sin, regretting having done it, and being determined not to do it again.
You should be careful of the devil who wants to make you despair (of the Mercy of Allah), and make you feel that it is not possible to repent and become righteous. This is nothing but his whispers and plots. Therefore, do not pay attention to these whispers, seek the help of Allah and do not become lazy.
You should know that keeping yourself chaste and staying away from what is forbidden is easy for those who take refuge in Allah and strive by utilizing the means that lead to chastity. For more benefit, please refer to Fatwa 23231.
Among the signs of a sincere repentance is that the person avoids the causes of disobedience and blocks the ways that lead to it, and to refrain from following the steps of the devil.
One of the greatest means of maintaining oneself chaste and staying away from immoralities is to get married. Therefore, take the initiative to marry and do not hesitate.
If this divorced woman is pious and it was not possible for you to marry other than her, due to the circumstances that you have mentioned, then strive to convince your parents to accept your marriage with her. If they insist on refusing, then you can marry her even without their consent because obedience to parents is only in what is permissible. Marriage in your case is an obligation.
“Marriage is an obliation if one vows (to marry), and if one fears to commit Zina (fornication or adultery) by abandoning it, and is able to marry a free woman, even if his fear [of Zina] is only assumed, whether it is from a man or a woman, because he is obliged to keep himself chaste and prevent it from what is forbidden, and the only way for this is marriage.” [End of quote]
However, if that woman is not pious, or you can find another woman to marry, then obey your parents and abandon her and look for a righteous woman whom you are able to spend on.
Allah knows best.
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