Salam. A few years ago I made a bad dua on myself foolishly. Anyway Then I was suffering bad health so I made lots of dua for Allah swt to cure me. Now im not sure if I made a vow to become a scholar if I get better. I asoed Allah to give me a sign as I was going to read the Quran, I was wanting a sign from the verses im going ro read. the next verse I read Talking about Allah could have made those deaf and blind but chose not to and the disbelievers will be those who fall back on their promises!! Was this a sign from Allah? Since then I have left my secular studies and I have been bery confused Im not surw what to do. please help me
All perfect praise be to Allah, the Lord of the worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad (may Allah exalt his mention) is His Slave and Messenger.
As for your supplication against yourself, you have to repent from it. The Prophet said: "Do not supplicate against yourselves, do not supplicate against your children, do not supplicate against your wealth, lest that coincides with a time when Allah is asked and He grants, so He answers your prayer." [Muslim]
You should supplicate Allah for yourself with all that is good, for Allah hears the supplications. As for your doubt about the vow, then you are not required to do anything because in principle a vow doesn't happen unless its condition is fulfilled.
Regarding the sign you mentioned, you should ignore it as no ruling can be based on it, but you must expel these negative thoughts and work hard to lead positive life and focus on your studies, and look for what benefits your religion and your life.
Allah knows best.
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